Freeze Jokes

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

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Couple's Daily Question Mug
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How to make a dog meow or your cat bark?

Freeze your dog and then take an angle grinder and use it on your dog and it Will say meeeeeow. Dunk your cat in gasoline and light it on fire and it Will say woof

What did Batman give Doctor Freeze with his whisky?

Just-ice

What was Han Solo's reaction to being taken to the carbon-freezing chamber?

He was petrified.

Why did the blonde freeze a pot of boiling water?

Because you never know when you're going to need some boiling water.

What's it like being frozen to absolute zero?

It's 0K.

What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date?

Netflix and chill.

What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow

Which phone??

Person 1 : Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2 : Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1 : So what about summers then? Person 2 : Same, it freezes often as well

How do you make a dog go meow?

Freeze it and run it through a bandsaw. MEEEOWW!!

What does a cow say in the winter?

I'm udderly freezing!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What did Mr. Freeze call himself when he joined Batman's fight against criminals?

The Dark Knightrogen

How do you make a dog sound like a cat?

You freeze it, put it on a bandsaw and cut it; "Meoooow".

What does a blonde do when her computer freezes?

She puts in in the microwave.

What is the difference between homeless and vodka?

Vodka does not freeze

Why were all the computers in the company frozen?

Because they let IT go

What'd the scientist say to the man who was frozen to absolute zero?

Are you 0K

How did the dog make anti-freeze?

He stole her blanket.

What do freezing rain and cake icing have in common?

Both are a glaze

What do you get when you cryogenically freeze a genetic copy of basketball legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar?

An ice Kareem clone

What pokemon would you catch in Antarctica?

Freezing.

What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving?

Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

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Netflix Jokes More Netflix Jokes

Why would the Queen let Netflix use her likeness in "The Crown"?

She probably gets royalties

What does a drug addict like to do in their free time?

Netflix and pills :D

Reindeer Jokes More Reindeer Jokes

What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball?

They're both brown except the snowball.

What do call someone who takes care of reindeer and really enjoys it?

A Jolly Rancher.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Who should get the cat?

I don't know...let's see who he loves the most" 3 weeks later Can you tell "Nope"

What did the cat say when the delivery man was leaving?

Purolator.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call a white person on fire?

A firecracker.

How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood?

He was jacking off one day and his hand caught on fire.

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

What does Batman like in his lemonade?

Just ice.

How do you stir up the politics in a Coca Cola drink?

You add ices.

Sing Jokes More Sing Jokes

What song do the zombies of Westeros sing?

The Brains of Castamere.

What do "Jingle Bells" sung by Mike Tyson and a green and red g-string have in common?

They're both Christmith Thongs.

Jolly Good Fellow Jokes More Jolly Good Fellow Jokes

What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving?

Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

What's the difference between the holocaust and a jolly-good fellow?

Nobody can a jolly-good fellow!

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

How can you tell if a bee is on the phone?

You get a buzzy signal.

How do you call a lesbian, black, Canadian woman?

With a phone.