Freeze Jokes

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How to make a dog meow or your cat bark?

Freeze your dog and then take an angle grinder and use it on your dog and it Will say meeeeeow. Dunk your cat in gasoline and light it on fire and it Will say woof

What did Batman give Doctor Freeze with his whisky?

Just-ice

What was Han Solo's reaction to being taken to the carbon-freezing chamber?

He was petrified.

Why did the blonde freeze a pot of boiling water?

Because you never know when you're going to need some boiling water.

What's it like being frozen to absolute zero?

It's 0K.

What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date?

Netflix and chill.

What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow

Which phone??

Person 1 : Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2 : Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1 : So what about summers then? Person 2 : Same, it freezes often as well

How do you make a dog go meow?

Freeze it and run it through a bandsaw. MEEEOWW!!

What does a cow say in the winter?

I'm udderly freezing!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Coffee Mug

What did Mr. Freeze call himself when he joined Batman's fight against criminals?

The Dark Knightrogen

How do you make a dog sound like a cat?

You freeze it, put it on a bandsaw and cut it; "Meoooow".

What does a blonde do when her computer freezes?

She puts in in the microwave.

What is the difference between homeless and vodka?

Vodka does not freeze

Why were all the computers in the company frozen?

Because they let IT go

What'd the scientist say to the man who was frozen to absolute zero?

Are you 0K

How did the dog make anti-freeze?

He stole her blanket.

What do freezing rain and cake icing have in common?

Both are a glaze

What do you get when you cryogenically freeze a genetic copy of basketball legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar?

An ice Kareem clone

What pokemon would you catch in Antarctica?

Freezing.

What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving?

Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

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Batman Jokes More Batman Jokes

What has holes in it, and travels down an alley?

Batman: my parents Riddler: no its a bowling ball! I-im so sorry!

What's Batman's favorite fruit?

Bananananananananana

Microsoft Jokes More Microsoft Jokes

What's your favourite food if you hate Microsoft Word?

TeX-MeX

Why is the new OS from Microsoft called Windows 10?

Because 7 ate 9.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

How do you date a ghost?

You 'WOOOO' him!

What do you call a bunch of dead black people in a barn?

A: Out dated farming equipment.

Chill Jokes More Chill Jokes

What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date?

Netflix and chill.

Why are sloths one of the 7 deadly sins?

Those little guys don't hurt anybody. They just chill all day.

Gasoline Jokes More Gasoline Jokes

How do you make a cat woof?

soak it in gasoline and light it on fire... WOOF!

What's the difference between water and gasoline?

In Flint Michigan you can get gasoline that is unleaded.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Where do Sikhs buy clothes?

Turban Outfitters

Where is the best place to buy chicken broth?

at the stock market

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?

What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."

What personal question is not obvious yet nobody has ever needed to ask anyone?

Are you vegan?

Petrify Jokes More Petrify Jokes

What was Han Solo's reaction to being taken to the carbon-freezing chamber?

He was petrified.

Why are the old trees always yelling?

They were all petrified.