Freeze Jokes

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

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How to make a dog meow or your cat bark?

Freeze your dog and then take an angle grinder and use it on your dog and it Will say meeeeeow. Dunk your cat in gasoline and light it on fire and it Will say woof

What did Batman give Doctor Freeze with his whisky?

Just-ice

What was Han Solo's reaction to being taken to the carbon-freezing chamber?

He was petrified.

Why did the blonde freeze a pot of boiling water?

Because you never know when you're going to need some boiling water.

What's it like being frozen to absolute zero?

It's 0K.

What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date?

Netflix and chill.

What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow

Which phone??

Person 1 : Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2 : Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1 : So what about summers then? Person 2 : Same, it freezes often as well

How do you make a dog go meow?

Freeze it and run it through a bandsaw. MEEEOWW!!

What does a cow say in the winter?

I'm udderly freezing!

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What did Mr. Freeze call himself when he joined Batman's fight against criminals?

The Dark Knightrogen

How do you make a dog sound like a cat?

You freeze it, put it on a bandsaw and cut it; "Meoooow".

What does a blonde do when her computer freezes?

She puts in in the microwave.

What is the difference between homeless and vodka?

Vodka does not freeze

Why were all the computers in the company frozen?

Because they let IT go

What'd the scientist say to the man who was frozen to absolute zero?

Are you 0K

How did the dog make anti-freeze?

He stole her blanket.

What do freezing rain and cake icing have in common?

Both are a glaze

What do you get when you cryogenically freeze a genetic copy of basketball legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar?

An ice Kareem clone

What pokemon would you catch in Antarctica?

Freezing.

What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving?

Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

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Netflix Jokes More Netflix Jokes

Why were they called the dark ages?

Because there were so many knights! Credit: watching Mr. D on Netflix

Why would the Queen let Netflix use her likeness in "The Crown"?

She probably gets royalties

Woof Jokes More Woof Jokes

Which is Better, a Cat or a Dog House?

A dog house, because a cat house has no woof!

How do you make a cat go "woof"?

Douse it with petrol and toss a lit match. WOOF!

Forgive Jokes More Forgive Jokes

How do you insult a Catholic?

Any way you like, they have to forgive you!

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

Jolly Good Fellow Jokes More Jolly Good Fellow Jokes

What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving?

Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

What's the difference between the holocaust and a jolly-good fellow?

Nobody can a jolly-good fellow!

Sing Jokes More Sing Jokes

Which four-member rock group doesn't sing or play music?

Mount Rushmore.

What do you call a computer that sings?

A Dell

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What did the dyslexic person worship?

Santa.

Why doesn't Santa have to pay for parking?

Because it's on the house.

Boiling Water Jokes More Boiling Water Jokes

Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

What's the difference between friends and potatoes?

Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What do you call someone who spends the whole time on their phone whenever you hang out?

A phoney friend!

Why did the Hobbit put his phone on silent?

Because he was bored of the rings!