What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?

What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."

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Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What type of weed do lizards smoke?

Mariguana.

What does a 12 year old redneck girl say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me dad, you're crushing my smokes!

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

How did a blind man drive his car?

A: One hand on the wheel the other on the road.

What do a blonde and a car have in common?

A: They can both drive you crazy.

Store Jokes More Store Jokes

Why is the middle east the best place to open a store at the moment?

Because business is booming.

Why did the man steal mushrooms from the store?

Because he had no .

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What did the busy tailor say to the Scarecrow who needed some mending?

I can't find the twine.

Why do I need the life vest?

Me: If you have to ask, you might not need one.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What does it mean when a pedestrian has the right of way?

When you see a pedestrian, youve got to get them, right away

What does COINCIDENCE' mean?

Student Funny, I was just going to ask you that.

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

How did Saddam deal with his leftovers?

He used sarin wrap

What's the deal with airplane peanuts?

I mean, seriously, are they seeing anyone?

Bowl Jokes More Bowl Jokes

Why does a pterodactyl always urinate on the side of the bowl?

Because the pee is silent.

How do you encourage a potter while he's glazing his bowl?

Way to go dude, you're kiln it!"