What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?

What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."

Previous Random Joke Next
Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What does one llama say to the other llama before the smoke some weed?

Alpaca bowl!!!

Why did the priest smoke weed in the cemetery?

He wanted to keep his spirits high.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do you get when cross the Dukes of Hazzard car with K.I.T.T. ?

General Lee speaking.

What was the point in making your car louder, bro?

Do you really want women to turn their heads and notice you drive a 1999 Honda Civic

Store Jokes More Store Jokes

Why do hipsters only buy games from GOG?

Because other stores are too mainSteam.

What store does Governor Ratcliffe go to buy his video games?

IT'S BABBAGES, BABBAGES

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many men does it take to fix a women's watch?

Why does she need a watch? There is a clock on the oven!

Why is the white girl so odd?

Because she can't even. I'll be over in /r/dadjokes if you need me.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What are the four elements?

Pupil: Fire Earth Water and the Internet. Teacher: What do you mean the Internet Pupil: Well Mum says that whenever I'm on the Net I'm in my element.

What do you mean by being loud?

quiet the opposite.

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

What was the deal with that dude wearing a tie and an apron at brunch?

He kept writing down everything we said, he gave me the crepes.

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

Bowl Jokes More Bowl Jokes

What did Helen Keller say after she finished her bowl of cereal for breakfast?

I may be blind, but I can see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Why was the man intently watching the bowl of snickers?

He wanted to see who would have the last laugh. back to work...