Do you really want women to turn their heads and notice you drive a 1999 Honda Civic
They both want to unzip your genes! credit goes to Hank from CrashCourse on Youtube :)
They Hire 'Em A Biff!
Everyone knows that the person who gave you the gift is Santa.
The knife has a point.
SON: Transmission is shot. Reverse doesn't work. DAD: Well... SON: Don't- DAD: There's no going back now
A dog that chases cars - and catches them !
Om-lit
With a blue elephant gun. You hold his trunk until he turns blue, then you shoot him with the blue elephant gun Edit: My 5 year old nephew loves this joke.
Because he was driving her buggy.
Because he Kant drive Immanuel.
Two policemen call the station on the radio. "Hello. Is that you Sarge?" "Yes?" "We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean." "Have you arrested the woman?" "No sir. The floor is still wet.
Woman: "How DARE you call my dog that!" Man: "I was talking to the dog!"
To keep their foreskin from flopping over their head.
For the halibut
Nah brah, tadah brah!
Him: Never. Me: But I put my "I Karaoke" t-shirt on. Him: We noticed. Me: This is the worst funeral ever.
Boy explains his whole problem Girl: Oh, that's why you didn't notice my nail paint
Because they're reliable, quality made cars.
Because Michael Douglas starred in "Double Jeopardy" in 1999.
