Batman Jokes

What do you call it when Batman skips church..?

Christian Bale.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car?

Get in the car"

What sport can Batman best Superman in?

Polo

What's it called when Batman walks out of church?

Christian Bale Hah

What's the difference between a black man and Batman?

Batman can go inside a store without Robin

What superhero consists of only 16 atoms?

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!

Why did Batman go to the corner store?

FOR JUST ICE

What's the difference between Batman and a Black man?

Batman can go out at night without Robin

What do they say when batman catches a cold?

He's ben affleckted.

Why is Batman so jealous of Superman?

Because he has 3 dead parents and Bruce only has 2

What would make Batman really salty?

Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-

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What does Batman take with his drinks?

Just ice

What's the difference between Batman's parents and jokes about Batman's parents?

Jokes about Batman's parents can get old.

What did Batman give Doctor Freeze with his whisky?

Just-ice

What happens when batman takes viagra?

The dark knight rises

This joke may have profanity.

What does Batman get in his drink?

Just Ice

How does Batman's mom call him home for dinner?

She doesn't because she's dead.

What do you call a fusion between Batman and Superman?

The krypton-knight.

What did Mr. Freeze call himself when he joined Batman's fight against criminals?

The Dark Knightrogen

What happens when the Batman sees Catwoman?

The Dark Knight Rises.

What do you call Batman without a soul?

Bn. (B "atma" n)

Why don't they call the Batman film "The White Knight" instead of "The Dark Knight"?

Because no one would care that he died.

What does Batman ask when he enters a butcher shop?

Gotham?

What do you get when you cross Batman with Mountain Dew?

Dew diligance

What is it called when Batman abandons Gotham city?

Christian Bale.

Whats the difference between a black man and Batman?

Batman can go to a store without robin.

What's Batman's favorite food?

Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

What did the anti-joker say to the joker?

I'm Batman.

What do you call a Batman that leaves church before its over?

A Christian Bale

Who does Batman call when he needs to cool down his expensive drinks?

The Just-Ice League.

What does batman take in his whiskey?

Just ice.

What is Batman's least favorite TV channel?

The Family Channel.

Where does Batman go to get a haircut?

Batman-do

What did Santa Clause give all the naughty boys and girls for Christmas this year?

He made them Batman.

What did Batman say to Robin before they hop on the Batmobile?

To the Batmobile!"

Why does Batman wear a mask?

Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis

What do you get if you group 8 sodium atoms together?

Batman.

How do Batman's parents call him to dinner?

They don't they're dead.

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner?

She doesn't, she's dead

What does Batman like with his whiskey?

Gravely voice) "Just ice."

What does Batman put in his drinks?

Just ice.

What is Batman's favorite thing to do with his money?

Make it Wayne.

Why couldn't Batman go to the movie?

Because it was rated "PG"

What else do you need when you use your Batman shampoo?

Conditioner Gordon.

What would batman do if he wasn't rich?

He would be robin.

What's the difference between Black man, and Batman?

Batman can go in a convenience store without Robbin.

What is the Speed of Darkness?

Batman!

What happened when the joker dropped an elephant carrying a ten ton weight on Batman and Robin?

They became flatman and ribbon. has left the building.

What happens when Batman sees Catwoman naked?

The Dark Knight Rises.

What did Batman say when he went to the butcher?

Got Ham?

What does Batman like in his lemonade?

Just ice.

What does Batman put in his beverages?

Just ice.

What's the difference between Ice Age 4 and Batman The Dark Knight?

The kids walked out of Ice Age 4... Alive

Whats the difference between Batman and a Blackman?

Batman can go into a store without robin....

What does Batman's mum shout when it's time for dinner?

Nothing. She's dead.

Why is the bat-boy the luckiest guy on the baseball team?

Because when he grows up he will be Batman.

Why are batman and black man different?

Bat man can go a whole night without robin

What's in common between Batman and a black guy?

They can't go into a store without Robin

How do we know that Batman is black?

He can't go anywhere without Robin'

What's the difference between batman and a blackman?

Batman can go to the store with out robin.

What does Batman say when he goes down on a woman?

What does Batman say when he goes down on a woman? To the bat cave!

What does Batman use to wash his hair?

Conditioner Gordon.

Why did batman leave church?

Because Christian Baled

What's the difference between Batman and Martin Brodeur?

Batman isn't wearing hockey pads.

Why couldn't Batman go fishing?

A: Because Robin ate the worms.

How is Batman different from a black man?

Batman can go in a store without Robin.

What's Batman's favorite fruit?

Bananananananananana

What's Batman's least favourite album?

A Night at the Opera.

What does batman take in his beverages?

just...ice.

What is the difference between Batman and a black man?

Batman can go into a convenience store without Robin.

What is Batman's favourite hair product?

Conditioner Gordon.

Who wins in a fight: Goku or Superman?

Wrong, Batman always wins.   Yes, I do have the sense of humor of a 5 year old.

What to you call Batman and Robin after they've been run over by a car?

A: Flatman and Ribbon

What do black people and Batman have in common?

Neither one of them get r/dadjokes

What has holes in it, and travels down an alley?

Batman: my parents Riddler: no its a bowling ball! I-im so sorry!

What type of doctor did Batman visit after Bane broke his back?

A Chiroptopracter.

What does Batman put in his drink?

Just ice

What do batman and 16 atoms of sodium have in common?

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na

Why's he in his underwear?

Batman: So we match. Look, this isn't about me.

Who's gonna be Batman?

leaves Earth*

What do Batman's parents shout when dinners ready?

NOTHING, BECAUSE THEY'RE DEAD.

What's the difference between Batman, and a black man?

Batman can go out at night without Robin. Ba-Dum-Tis!!!!!!!

What is Batman's Japanese emergency number?

7777-Batman

What did Drake Bell say to Batman?

Sorry, still calling you Bruce! I found this on Facebook somewhere; I dunno who to get credit to.

What did Batman say at the deli?

Got ham

How does batman order his iced water?

Can I get that..Just ice"

What is the difference between batman and a black guy?

Batman can walk into a store without Robin

What is Batman's least favorite ice cream?

Vanilla Bane!

What travels down an alley and is full of holes?

Batman's Parents.

Why does Batman think so highly about himself?

Bruce Wayne.

What superhero would a (insert stereotype here) man be?

Batman. Why Because he can't go out at night without Robin!

What does Sodium and Batman have in common?

NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa BATMAN i'll just see myself out....

What's the difference between batman and Blackman?

Batman can go to the store without robin Edit: glad you'll liked it :-)

What does batman like adding to his drinks?

JUST-ICE

What does batman add to his tea?

Just ice.

Who can watch an R rated movie but not a PG?

Batman

What do you call a Batman that leaves church early?

A Christian bail

How do you spell no?

Me: Sound it out. What makes the na na na na na na na na na sound 4: Batman (Spelling is hard)

What do you call Batman and Robin after they got run over by a steamroller?

Flatman and Ribbon

What is it called when Batman wants to leave Church early?

Christian Bale.

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Gordon Jokes More Gordon Jokes

What if it's daytime?

Batman: *glares at Robin* Gordon: Yeah, what if it- Batman: *smoke bomb*

What does Gordon program in?

FLASH... AAAHHHHHHHH. Its the language of the universe...

Robbin Jokes More Robbin Jokes

What's the difference between Black man, and Batman?

Batman can go in a convenience store without Robbin.

Who steals from the poor and gives to the rich?

Robbin' hood

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why does Daniel love white vans?

Because he likes candy... *I'll walk myself out*

What did the blind man say when he walked into the fish market?

Good morniiiiiiing ladies!"

Dum Jokes More Dum Jokes

How does R.Kelly end a joke?

Ba dum

What does Pontiac stand for?

Poor, Old, Niagga, Thinks, It's, A, Cadillac. Ba dum tssss

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a doctor and God?

God doesn't walk around thinking he's a doctor.

What's the difference between babies and love?

Love doesn't burn. What's worst part about making love to a dead baby. Digging up the coffin. How long does take to play hide and seek with a dead baby? It depends how small the pieces are.

Chemist Jokes More Chemist Jokes

What do you do when a Chemist dies?

You Barium.

What did the chemist say when hr found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

He got the stuffing knocked out of him.

What do you call a Syrian refugee on the Mediterranean?

What do you call a Syrian refugee on the Mediterranean? Bob What does a Syrian refugee call their pet? Dinner What's grosser than gross? Two Syrian refugees fighting over a tampon.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why did the Smackhead kick the habit?

He didn't like nuns.

What is Bill and Ted's favorite book of the bible?

Duderonomy! They also like Leviticus.