Why is Batman so jealous of Superman?

Because he has 3 dead parents and Bruce only has 2

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Why did Josh Gordon marry Mary Jane?

So he'd only get a 2 game suspension for abusing her.

Why did Susie fall off the swing?

2 - Because she had no arms 1 - Knock Knock 2 - Who's there 1 - Not Susie

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What do you call Batman if he leaves church?

Christian bail.

How does batman order his iced water?

Can I get that..Just ice"

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What do you call a rifle that fires 3 bullets at once?

A trifle!

When would a discount be a bad thing?

Have 3 abortions and get the fourth free.

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Which gun does Superman use?

SCAR-L

Why does Superman get invited to dinners?

Because he is a Supperhero.

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What's the difference between bruce banner and bruce jenner?

One turned into a terrifying monster, the other is an avenger.

What DOESN'T Bruce want for Christmas from his ex?

A Krismas goose.