What TV personality lives in your phone?

SIM Card-ashian! (it might help if you say it out loud)

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Live Jokes More Live Jokes

How many Global Warming nutjobs does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they don't use light bulbs. They live in caves and use no forms of artificial energy because they wouldn't want to be perceived as hypocrites or morons.

Where do literal dogs live?

On the roof.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why did the Hobbit put his phone on silent?

Because he was bored of the rings!

How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

Why did Olly call the manager for help, outside the store?

For the watch..

Why didn't the Duke of Windsor let his French servant help him tie his tie?

He never does it with a four-in (foreign)-hand.