Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What's Santa's favorite snack?

A crisp Pringle

What do you call a lobster dressed up as Santa?

Santa Claws

Elf Jokes More Elf Jokes

What business does an elf, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark?

A nearby horseman answers, "Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!"

What do you call an elf who lost all his toys?

Legolas

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How many vegetables should you pull out of the ground in one day?

None

What do you get when you mix the Twelve Days of Christmas with Ninety-nine Bottles of beer on the wall?

A year in prison if there's any justice.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

How do you know the Alphabet is celebrating Christmas?

When there is no "L" ("Noel")

What do ducks do at Christmas time?

They Duckerate cookies. ...lol...

Sack Jokes More Sack Jokes

What do a gallon of milk and the city of Carthage have in common?

Ideally you only have to sack them once, but we should probably sack them again for good measure.

Why would you take a hammer to bed?

A: So you could hit the sack.

Safety Jokes More Safety Jokes

What was the best thing Kurt Cobain ever released?

The safety.

What does music have to do with safety?

If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.