What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

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What should I buy for dinner?

I see frozen peas are cool this time of year. ..you might say that's a corny joke, but it's really not. It's a pea joke.

What's Irish and stays on your back porch all year?

Patty O'Furniture

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Why do felines always win board games?

Because they are cheetahs.

What do Americans do immediately after winning the World Cup (Soccer)?

Turn off the Playstation.

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What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?

All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...

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All rice, all rice, all rice

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What do politicians and sperm have in common?

About 1 in every 600 million has a chance of becoming a human.

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No eye-deer. EDIT: I totally messed this joke up. Please give me another chance with another joke

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What's the real reason Lego Movie didn't get nominated for an Oscar?

They thought it was called "The Leo Movie".

What is the difference between Chelsea and Leo di caprio?

Chelsea got Oscar. huehuehuehue.

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What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

Why didn't DiCaprio laugh at Oscar joke?

Because he didn't get it.