Matthew Mc Conaughey Jokes

Why can't Matthew McConaughey make a left turn?

Because he's .

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What did Matthew McConaughey say about Steve Bannon's followers?

They're alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.

What colour did Matthew McConaughey want his house to be painted?

All white, all white, all white.

Who does Matthew McConaughey say is the most dangerous group in America?

Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right

What do you call a conservative Matthew McConaughey?

All right all right all right.

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

What did Matthew McConaughey yell at the drive that was about to miss his turn?

A right a right a right!

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?

All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...

How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's House?

All right, all right, all right..

What does Matthew McConaughey think about an all white, Republican Government?

Altright, altright, altright

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What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

How does Matthew McConaughey like his sandwiches?

On rye on rye on rye.

What is matthew mcconaughey favorite bread?

All rye all rye

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he got a scholarship?

Fulbright, fulbright, fulbright...

What did Matthew McConaughey have to say about the 2016 Oscar-winner's line-up?

All white, all white, all white!

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Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

What do you call a blind, legless buck?

No eye-deer. EDIT: I totally messed this joke up. Please give me another chance with another joke

What can run out before you've had a chance to use it?

Slaves.

Rye Jokes More Rye Jokes

What kind of bread always goes wrong?

A rye

How does Matthew McConaughey like his sandwiches?

On rye on rye on rye.

Matthew Jokes More Matthew Jokes

Why are people so worried about Hurricane Matthew's wind speeds?

I thought CAT4 was capped at 16Mbps.

What do Hurricane Matthew and Kim Kardashian have in common?

They'll both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What do you call the amount of time it takes to win an argument with a lawyer?

An attornity.

What does Jerry Jones do after winning the Super Bowl?

Gives the X Box back to grandkids

Racist Jokes More Racist Jokes

Why does Usain Bolt hate asians?

Because he is a racist.

Why does mohamed goes out with an explosive device?

To bring it back to samsung, you racist.

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

How many ska kids does it take to change a light bulb?

Three; one to drop the bulb and two to yell "pick it up pick it up!"

How do I get to the other side of the river?

The blonde yells back "You are on the other side!"

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What is it called when Batman wants to leave Church early?

Christian Bale.

Why did a scientist disconnect his doorbell?

because he wanted to win the No-bell prize!! Sorry, I ll walk out

Colour Jokes More Colour Jokes

What kind of ant can you colour with ?

A crayant !

Why are the sheep in Africa coloured pink?

The elephants are using them as tampons