Matthew Mc Conaughey Jokes

Why can't Matthew McConaughey make a left turn?

Because he's .

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What did Matthew McConaughey say about Steve Bannon's followers?

They're alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.

What colour did Matthew McConaughey want his house to be painted?

All white, all white, all white.

Who does Matthew McConaughey say is the most dangerous group in America?

Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right

What do you call a conservative Matthew McConaughey?

All right all right all right.

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

What did Matthew McConaughey yell at the drive that was about to miss his turn?

A right a right a right!

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?

All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...

How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's House?

All right, all right, all right..

What does Matthew McConaughey think about an all white, Republican Government?

Altright, altright, altright

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What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

How does Matthew McConaughey like his sandwiches?

On rye on rye on rye.

What is matthew mcconaughey favorite bread?

All rye all rye

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he got a scholarship?

Fulbright, fulbright, fulbright...

What did Matthew McConaughey have to say about the 2016 Oscar-winner's line-up?

All white, all white, all white!

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What did the bishop say to the priest?

It's my turn.

What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?

A nun with a javelin in her throat. (The only joke I can ever recall when asked for one. Told to me by my art teacher in Grade 11. Needless to say, he was my favourite teacher)

Asian Jokes More Asian Jokes

Why has there never been an Asian president?

Because they are taken to the hospital if the election lasts more than 4 hours

What do you get when you cross a black and asian man?

slightly racist) A car thief that can't drive.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do feminists and Redditors have in common?

They both have multiple triggers that will cause them to down vote those who don't think the exact same way as them.

Why do programmers think Halloween's the same as Christmas?

Because 31OCT == 25DEC (thank you very much)

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What travels around the world but stays in one corner?

A stamp.

What goes around the world yet stays in the corner?

Stamp

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

1 in 50 million has a chance of becoming a human being.

What are the chances you know an Olympic gymnast??

A stretch

Steve Bannon Jokes More Steve Bannon Jokes

Why does everyone claim that Steve Bannon is such a crazy guy?

He seems alt-right!

What did Matthew McConaughey say about Steve Bannon's followers?

They're alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What did the Mexican carpeting salesman yell to promote his business?

Underlay! Underlay!

How do you make Ben Carson yell?

Watch a movie with him.

Rice Jokes More Rice Jokes

What is both a short shopping list, and a potential Chinese luxury automobile?

Rolls * Rice

What's the difference between a musician and a bag of rice?

The bag of rice can feed a family of four.