What's the definition of the perfect woman?

Four feet tall, fold back teeth, flat head so you can rest your beer on it, and turns into a pizza at midnight.

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What do you call an international diamond monopoly turned Chicago football team?

Da Beers

What do you call a dark skinned surfer?

A RADICAL muslim. Sorry if I offended anyone but just thought I would share a funny thought I had that I turned into a joke.

Tooth Jokes More Tooth Jokes

What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?

Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day?

To prevent bat breath!

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

When she read the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?

I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."

How does good king Wenceslas like his pizza?

Deep pan, crisp, and even.

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

Why do you fight using only your feet?

Oh, y'know. For kicks.

What's the difference between an introverted scientist and an extroverted scientist?

An extroverted scientist will stare at YOUR feet.

Definition Jokes More Definition Jokes

What's the definition of "Trust"?

Two cannibals giving each other head

Whats the definition of love true love and showing off?

Spitting swallowing and gargling.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

When your prescription says "DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL WHILE TAKING THIS" how many beers are you really allowed to have?

6

What do the Irish say when they cheers their beer?

Good Mornin'!

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

What did the lazy suspect say to the court?

I haven't done anything to warrant a rest.

What is Laziness?

Logical Answer It is the Art of Taking Rest Before Getting Tired.

Midnight Jokes More Midnight Jokes

What do you call a ghost at midnight?

A sheet in the dark!

What did the two narwhals say at midnight?

Nothing, they just baconed.

Fold Jokes More Fold Jokes

How can a can you double your money?

By folding it in half.

What is the quickest way to double your money ?

Fold it in half !