Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby snake?

Stop crying and viper your nose.

How do you make an orange turn red?

Get John Boehner to cry.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly?

The Millenial Falcon.

When is being an "Alpha" not a good thing in the dating world?

When you are a type of radiation. No one wants someone who can't penetrate well.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

What rings twice and screams once?

Ray Charles answering the iron

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

How does the stork bring babies?

It pokes holes in condoms.

What do you call a guy who wears two condoms?

Justin Case

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?

Regular rocks are too heavy.

Why does a bride wear white on her wedding day?

So the dishwasher matches the appliances

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What do you call a dead person?

Dinner

What came first: the chicken or the egg?

The egg because I ate egg for breakfast and chicken for dinner.

Daddy Jokes More Daddy Jokes

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

What's your Mom's name?

Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time.... Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then? Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....

Wish Jokes More Wish Jokes

Why are mexicans so predictable in Uno?

Because they always wish for the green card

Whats your first wish?

Dave: I wish I was rich. Genie: Granted, what's your second wish Rich: I want lots of money.

Yay Jokes More Yay Jokes

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

What noise does a ceiling fan make?

GO CEILING!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!! YOUR NUMBER ONE!! YAY, CEILING RULES!!!