Daddy Jokes

What's your Mom's name?

Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time.... Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then? Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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How does an Alabama girl know shes in for a crazy night?

Her daddy says he wants her in bed by ten.

How do you make an orphans hands bleed?

Tell them to clap until daddy gets home

What does a 16 year old girl say in West Virginia?

Get off me daddy, you're crushing my smokes

Why was the Egyptian boy confused?

His daddy was really a mummy.

How do you know ancient Egyptians were black?

Because they never dig up daddies.

Why was the Ancient Egyptian boy confused?

His daddy was a mummy

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

Why did the Egyptian kid in therapy?

Because he thought his daddy was his mummy.

Who's your Daddy?

In my excitement, I asked my girlfriend "How's your daddy " instead of "Who's your daddy " and now five hours later we're still talking about his diabetes...

Why were ancient Egyptian children confused?

Because their daddies were mummies.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What's the first thing a hillbilly says after losing her virginity?

Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes.

How did you meet daddy?

Me: Well, it all started with a friendly game of spin the bottle at the family reunion...

When your kid asks you (daddy is it time to go crazy?

you don't know what to say until you wife reply's (idk go ask you dad.) what do you say My little joke

Why was the Egyptian kid confused?

Because his daddy was a mummy

What does Frankenstein's monster call a screwdriver?

Daddy.

Which tax haven is a daddy?

The Cayman Islands

How was your day, Daddy?

Me: Pretty busy, lots of meetings and deadlines. Her: DEAD LIONS! !

What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes.

Why is grandpa running daddy?

Shut up son, and give me another shell.

Where's that?

Hawaii Where's that -Jamaica Daddy where was I -You weren't born Why's the folder called 'Good Ole Days'

What did the blonde say when she knocked over a priceless Ming vase?

A. "It's okay Daddy I'm not hurt."

Where did you learn to do that?

Don't wipe boogers on Mommy's pillow! Wipe it on Daddy's

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Salad Jokes More Salad Jokes

What is a double-wide salad?

It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Whats the difference between children and lesbians?

Children shouldn't run with scissors. Lesbians shouldn't scissor with the runs.

What did the Cherokee-Polish couple name their firstborn?

Running Stupid

Little Black Kid Jokes More Little Black Kid Jokes

What did the little black kid get on his SAT's?

Barbecue sauce.

Why was the little black kid with diarrhea crying?

Because he thought he was melting.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What do you find hanging from cherry trees?

Your arms have gotten sore.

Where do chicken strips find love?

Chicken tinder Thank you, to Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen's official Instagram for this gem

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why aren't there any B batteries?

Because people might think you have a stutter.

What did Journey say to the critic as he stormed out of their concert?

Don't stop! Be leaving!" Just a joke I thought up the other day.

Hippie Jokes More Hippie Jokes

Why aren't hippies good pitchers?

Because they're always high and outside.

What did the Hippie say to the invisible elephant?

Hey dude, you're outta sight!

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry.

When is the best time to raise money?

When there's a stripper in front of you.

16 Year Old Jokes More 16 Year Old Jokes

What does DNA Helicase and a 16 year old boy have in common?

the both want to unzip your genes. if you didnt get it: https://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index qid=20121209104938AAKihOC

What do 16 year old boys and drug companies have in common?

They are both more worried about getting inside you than being effective once there!