Because he was stuck in denial.
Because when they immigrated from Italy, customs stuck a label on their lapel reading ToN.Y.
Stuck
A faux-cet.
Sinko de Mayo
None, its already lit fam. I cannot take credit for this due to being told this joke by a freind. He was in fact lit af.
AHEM!
A weapon of mast destruction.
Because they are not sea-men.
Toot and Car Man.
Both have LAX security.
In denial.
Because he enjoys living in denial.