Stick Jokes

Q: Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery? A: Because her career as a comic was stuck, but no matter how he tried, the Dr. couldn't pull a laugh out of her.

Why is Edward Snowden stuck in Russia?

Because he's snowed-in

Why was the marshmallow stuck to the tree?

It was taped.

What's the difference between a rabbit on a treadmill and a rabbit with a carrot stuck up its nose?

One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny

What do you call a Punjabi fellow stuck in the middle of a shark-filled ocean?

Amandeep trouble.

What does a piano, tuna, and a bucket of glue have in common?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Don't ask me about the bucket of glue though... I've been stuck there for a while

Why did Tigger get stuck in the toilet?

He was looking for pooh.

What's brown ans sticky???

a stick :) haha (yes i know its super lame)

What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants?

ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!"

Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.

What did the constipated maths teacher do when he got stuck?

got a pencil and worked it out.

What do you call it when you feed a stick of dynamite to a steer?

Abominable! (say it out loud, slowly)

Why did the lollipop cross the road?

Cause it was stuck to the chicken. I heard that on the radio today. I LOLed.

What did the writer say when he glued himself to his book?

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

How is a lonely twig like a piece of cling wrap?

He can only stick to himself.

What do you get when you stick your hand in a blender?

a handshake

Why did the cactus cross the road?

It got stuck to the chicken.

How do make a woman blind?

Stick a car windshield in front of her face.

Why don't midgets ever get accepted into nudist colonies?

They keep sticking their noses into everyone else's business.

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!

What happens when you stick your hand in a jar of jelly beans?

The black ones steal your watch.

This joke may have profanity.

What kind of bird always sticks together?

A velcrow Courtesy of Jokels.com:

What do you call a stick that's good at algebra..?

AN ARITHMESTICK.

Why was the girl stuck in the revolving door for two weeks?

cuz she couldn't find the door handle

What is made of wood and sticky?

a Stick!

Why didn't anyone drive stick in Soviet Russia?

They were afraid of Stalin.

What's hard and hairy and sticks out of your pajamas at night?

Your head.

How can you tell Russians are bad at driving stick?

cause their cars are always Stalin

What's the difference between a piano, a tuna fish, and a pot of glue?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna. ... What about the pot of glue I knew you'd get stuck.

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh. - *My little brother told me this one hit me with a little bit of nostalgia.*

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 70?

She got a frog stuck in her throat at 69.

What do you call a stick with autism?

Autistic

Why shouldn't anybody help cats down a tree?

Because they're stuck up

Why is a train like a stick of gum?

A: One goes choo-choo the other goes chew-chew.

What do you call a cow that's swallowed a stick of dynamite?

Abominable.

What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls ?

Reptiles !

Why aren't dwarves allowed at nudist camps?

They allways stick their nose in other people's business.

What do you a white convict stuck between two black convicts?

An Oreo crookie

What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for thousands of years?

Church.

What do you call a broken boomerang?

A stick

How do you stick things together like Fred Flinstone?

You add a dab of glue.

How do you make a baby drink?

A: Stick it in the blender.

What's the difference... ...between a piano, a fish, and glue?

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish "What about the glue " I knew you'd get stuck on that.

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