Stick Jokes

To get to the other side. He then turned around, stuck up his middle finger and said, "Hah, you were all expecting a joke, and all you got was an Anthony joke!"

Where did the glue go on vacation?

Nowhere! He just stuck around!

Why was the apricot late to the party?

He got stuck in a jam.

Why do aardvarks like to talk to ants?

They can stick to the subject!

What's the difference between a Chilean mining company and a Catholic priest?

One gets their miners stuck in a shaft, and the other gets his shaft stuck in a minor.

What did the woodpecker say to the doughnut?

You got the sweetest hole I ever stuck my pecker in.

This joke may have profanity.

What do you call a monkey holding a stick of dynamite?

A Baboom!

What's the difference between a 6 year old and a 16 year old?

Which hole they stick their finger in when no-one's looking.

What do you call something brown and sticky?

A stick. I'll see myself out.

Which actress would you like to get stuck in an elevator with?

Me: One who knows how to fix elevators.

How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?

A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.

What happens when Santa get stuck in a chimney?

He gets claustrophobic!

Why cant russians drive stick?

Because they are always Stalin!

Why does the Avon lady walk funny?

Because her lips stick

What do men dream of?

Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.

Who is the brother of Juan Luna?

Edi si AnTWOnio Luna. Yeah yeah, the result of being stuck in the traffic. XD

What's the difference between a priest and a chilean mining company?

One gets its miners stuck in shafts, and the other gets its shaft stuck in minors.

How did the chewing gum cross the road?

A: By sticking to the chicken's foot.

Why were the camels wearing sandals?

To stop themselves sinking into the sand. Why did the ostrich stick its head in the sand To look at the camels who forgot to put their sandals on.

What time zone are you in when you find a sheep stuck in a fence?

Mountin' time

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return?

Stick

Why are giraffes such good friends?

They are always willing to stick their neck out for you.

What's a boomerang called that's not coming back?

A Stick.

Why did the duck stick his leg into a computer?

He wanted to have webbed feet.

Why did the atom stick around?

Cuz if he split, the situation would have gotten blown out of proportion.

What lives in gum trees ?

Stick insects !

Why did the dentist divorce the manicurist?

She tried to stick her finger in his cavity.

Which pig is she?

Me: What do you mean 4: Is her house made of bricks or sticks

What did the alien say to the gas pump ?

Don't you know its rude to stick your finger in your ear when I'm talking to you !

What sound does it make when you light a stick of dynamite in them middle of a sheep herd?

ssssssssssss boom! baaaaaaaah!

What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths?

Lefty!

What happens when you stick your hand into a jar of jelly beans?

The black ones steal your watch and the yellow ones paint your nails.

What kind of birds stick together?

Vel-crows

What do you call a guy stuck in the same job for 30 years?

A four term US senator.

How are Chile mining companies and catholic priests different?

Chile mining companies get their minors stuck in shafts while catholic priests get their shafts stuck in minors

What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quicksand?

Quatro cinqo.

Why is Jesus never able to finish more than half of a crossword puzzle?

He always gets stuck on across.

How did the Redditor get stuck in a loop?

I don't know, check the post above me.

How do you make a fire with two sticks?

A: Make sure one is a match!

How do you get stuck in an annoying conversation with a stranger?

Ask someone vaping if you can bum a cigarette.

Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear?

It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear

What do you call four Mexicans stuck in quicksand?

quattro sink-o

What did you learn at summer camp?

KID: We built a generator out of sticks and mud MOM: A generator For what KID: To charge our iPods

How did the fish's tail get stuck in the anchor chain?

It was just a fluke!

How do you know if a woman is hot for you?

When you stick your hand in her underpants it feels like you're feeding a horse.

How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?

Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.

What do you call a man with a shovel stuck in his head?

An ambulance because that is a serious medical emergency that requires immediate attention.

Why are branches attached to trees?

Because they stick

Why couldn't the Egyptian fisherman get over the fact that his boat had sunk?

Because he was stuck in denial.

Why does Kim Jong Un stick out at a black gospel church?

Because he doesn't have Seoul.

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!

What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

Why do pirates not know the alphabet?

They always get stuck at "C".

I saw a nice stereo on Craigslist for $1. Seller says the volume is stuck on ‘high’

I couldn’t turn it down.

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