Whats ur emergency?

OMG my neighbours cat is stuck on the roof-" 911: Ma'am, this is an emergency only service- "-of my sons mouth."

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Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.

Why did the witch get a car with manual transmission?

Because she prefers to drive stick!

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a black man?

A dead baby can feed a family of four

What would you folks like?

HER: I'll have the s- ME: WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY !

911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

What can conspiracy theorists never explain?

They say that 9/11 was an inside job... but planes fly OUTSIDE. Can't explain that

How is learning to ride a bicycle and 9/11 alike?

Because you never forget!

Emergency Jokes More Emergency Jokes

Why is mustard good to have in case of an emergency?

It's always prepared.

Which positions does a violist use?

A: First third and emergency.

Roof Jokes More Roof Jokes

Why did the criminal hide in the roof?

It was very Con-Ceiling.

I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year...

The sails are going through the roof.

Ma'am Jokes More Ma'am Jokes

How much for the soulmate?

Ma'am, that's a bag of Doritos.

What was it again ?

Sagittarius, Capricorn - No ma'am, CANCER !