Whats ur emergency?

OMG my neighbours cat is stuck on the roof-" 911: Ma'am, this is an emergency only service- "-of my sons mouth."

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Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?

A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.

What's the difference between a rabbit on a treadmill and a rabbit with a carrot stuck up its nose?

One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the difference between a woman and a plate?

You can lick a plate dry

Whats worse than ants in your pants?

Your uncle.

911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?

9/11

What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11?

When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way.

Emergency Jokes More Emergency Jokes

What's your emergency, sir?

Me: I'm being taken away by ducks! I'm being- 911: Please don't do this, sir M: AbDUCKted! 911: *hangs up*

Why do women and children evacuate first in an emergency?

So the men can go on Reddit and repost this joke.

Roof Jokes More Roof Jokes

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?

It depends on how thinly you slice them.

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

17, 1 to hold the lightbulb, 1 to hold the ladder and the other 15 to drink whiskey until the roof spins

Ma'am Jokes More Ma'am Jokes

How much for the Ice Cream Scoop?

Ma'am, that's a Shovel.

What was it again ?

Sagittarius, Capricorn - No ma'am, CANCER !