S Jokes

Whats the name of a bodybuilder whose a fan of the X-Men?

Huge Jackman

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Whats a ducks favourite drug?

Quack cocaine

Who's There?

Interrupting the whos there) Penny!

Whats black and isn't working?

Black lives matter.

Whats blue and slippery?

A blue slipper

Why Don't Black People like Country Music?

Because everytime theres a Hoedown, they think one of their sisters got shot.

Whats the difference between a USB and the USA?

One has standards.

Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

Whats the biggest difference between men and women?

The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. is a good place to start.

Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

Whats Harry Potters favourite way of getting down a hill?

walking. JK ROLLING

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?

You can't use a pitchfork on the bowling balls.

Whats the age of consent in Thailand?

50$

Whats the difference between american women and middle eastern women?

American women get stoned before they commit adultery..

Whats the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

This joke may have profanity.

Whats a Feminist's favorite math subject?

Triggerednometry

Whats the difference between 8 and negative four?

Tyrone

Whats Rick Grimes' favorite position?

Michonne-ary

Whats the best way to stop a runaway horse?

Bet on it.

Whats the best way to get over a girl?

Get under another one

Whats the difference between Electricians and Technicians?

You don't have electricians that are colour blind!

Whats the difference between a hippie and a trampoline?

You take your boots off before you jump on a trampoline.

Whats better then getting a gold medal in the Paralympics?

Walking.

Whats the difference between dynamite and a banana?

banana is yellow,dynamite is red

Whats the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Whats the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

Whats the difference between a baby and a feminist?

At some point in its life, a baby will grow up and stop crying.

Whats a pirates favourite letter???

Youd think itd be rrrrr but tis the sea.

Whats a mans favorite word that starts with 'm' and ends in 'arriage'?

A miscarriage! This joke never gets old, just like the baby!

Whats an inmates favorite vegetable?

Cellery.

Whats the worst thing to hear when you have explosive diarrhea?

Are you ticklish?"

Whats a Joke with no Punchline?

Life

Whats the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I dont know and I dont care.

Who is Superman's brother?

Supperman. Or his kid Soup-erman. One just gets to dinner on time and the other is really good and making soup. E: I thought of it in it in a dream so thats why its not so good

Whats the difference between a guy who has a new Mercedes and a guy who has an old Mercedes?

The guy who has a new Mercedes is rich. The guy who has an old Mercedes has been rich for a longer time.

Whats the difference between Genders and The Twin Towers?

There used to be two and now it's too offensive to talk about.

How does an Alabama girl know shes in for a crazy night?

Her daddy says he wants her in bed by ten.

Whats the difference between a washing machine and a woman?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

What's black?

Whats black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

Whats the difference between a goat and a kid?

I stopped butchering goats.

Whats the difference between skinny and squat?

I never took a skinny on a girl's chest.

Whats the different between falling from the 10th floor and falling from the 1st floor ?

The sound you make 10th floor " AHHHHHHHHH " 1st floor " AHHHHHHHHHH "

Whats better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded.

Whats the difference between America and Yogurt?

If you leave Yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Whats the difference between a priest and acne?

One waits till you're 14 before coming on your face.

Whats the best thing Orlando Bloom's ever been in?

Katy Perry

Whats the Difference between a Third-Wave Feminist and a Pencil?

The pencil has a point

Whats funky and fits in a cardboard box?

A homeless epileptic.

Whats the difference between a Christian and a Muslim?

One blows up kids, the other gets blown by them.

How do you fit an elephant into a Safeway bag?

You take the s out of safe and the f out of way!

Whats does a fisherman and a teen have in common?

They both fiddle with a rod

Whats the difference between a dog and a fox?

About 8 pints

Whats the difference between a man and a government bond?

The bond matures.

What did the squirrel say when it saw the acorn tree cut down and taken away?

Thats nuts

Whats an American cops favourite shot?

A black rushing

Whats black and hurts when you get it thrown in your face?

A Piano.

Whats the difference between English Breakfast and Irish Breakfast tea?

One is still in the EU.

Whats long and black?

The unemployment line

Whats yellow and lives off dead beetles?

Yoko Ono.

Whats another meaning for a women?

Finger puppet

Whats the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their knees

Whats Asuma sensei's favorite jutsu?

ninja art.. CAMEL CRUSH!

Whats the Difference between an Atheist, a Christian and a Dog?

DogMa

Whats the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut?

About 3 weeks.

Whats the difference between a shower thought and a joke?

I don't know you tell me.

Whats BNAG?

Its bang out of order!

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a Disney movie?

Disney movies can still touch little kids.

What begins with S, ends with X and will change your life?

Smallpox

Whats six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?

Money.

Whats the fastest way to cut down a tree?

Suh Dude

What begins with an "s", ends with a "x" and leaves a guy blown away?

Semtex.

Whats the most stupid thing you've seen a Bernie Sanders supporter do?

Vote for Bernie in a primary.

How do you put an elephant in a safeway bag?

How do you put an elephant in a safeway bag? : I don't know, how? : Take the S away from "safe" and the F out of "way." : But there's no F in way. :

Whats's better than roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

What does a terrorist tell hes son?

Aim to the sky, maybe you'll shoot a plane.

What did one galaxy say to the Lagoon Nebula?

Whats up M8?

Whats the difference between you and an orphan?

You were adopted. Best told to siblings :D

Whats the worst thing about getting your keys locked in your car outside an abortion clinic?

Having to go inside to ask for a coat hanger.

This joke may have profanity.

Whats the difference between a redneck couple, and two variables in a dataset?

The variables aren't necessarily related.

Whats the most politically divided animal?

The polar bear.. I'll see myself out...

Whats the difference between a smart midget and a venereal disease?

Ones a cunning runt...

Whats the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

I don't know I just fly the drone.

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari?

I dont have a ferrari in my garage.

Whats a Muslims favorite cologne?

GERMANY!!!!

Whats Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom?

How I bought your mother

Why did Kesha switch "$" back to an "s"?

Because she no longer has a dollar to her name.

Whats a printer's favorite sandwich?

A paper jam sandwhich

Whats the difference between the government and a stripper?

Strippers don't rig their polls.

Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are $1.99 deer nuts are under a buck

How can your make 7 even?

Take away the "S"

Whats the closest a Mexican will ever be to happiness?

The border.

Whats the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral?

There's one less drunk.

Whats the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message.

Whats bigger than your balls?

The moon

Whats the difference between Paul Walker and Tiger Woods?

Tiger Woods has a better driver.

Whats a sugar free drink's favorite abbreviation?

0mg

Why did the student fail the exam?

Spent too much time figuring out the Engels, so he didnt get the Marx.... thats what he gets for Stalin

Whats the difference between news of the US elections and Madeleine McCann?

News of the elections is getting old.

Whats an owl say?

Quien?