What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between an Irishman and a bottle of whiskey?

The whiskey usually doesn't get drunk until it's at least ten years old.

What's the difference between garbanzo beans an chickpeas?

I don't have to play $50 for a garbanzo bean in my face.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

How many Gordon Ramseys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, he lets the knives do the work

Why wouldn't the sow let her piglets play with toads?

She didn't want them to grow into wart hogs.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why couldn't the Hungarian programmer buy a third long?

Because he only had Forints! Thank you thank you, tip your waiter.

Where do American bees store their honey?

In a USBee hive. Thank my ten year old for that one.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What do you call a black guy that flys a plane?

A pilot, you racist!

Why do vultures find it easy to fly?

They only ever have carrion baggage.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What kinds of jokes do cats play on each other?

Purranks.

What is JPA? Joke point average. Where do people with high JPAs go to?

Hahaharvard

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

Thank you I'll just have a slither.

How do you get Amy Schumer, Rosie O'donnell and Lena Dunham to move to Canada?

Piece of cake.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A Tyrannosaurus Wrecks. EDIT: Spelled "Tyrannosaurus" incorrectly.

How did my doctor know I have minor IBS?

I just asked him to edit my essay and he said I have semi colon problems. He must be a smart guy if he can figure that out from my writing.

Donald Jokes More Donald Jokes

What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

What does Melania disagree with Donald on?

Anchor babes.

Orange Jokes More Orange Jokes

What made the orange stop suddenly?

It just ran out of juice.

What rhymes with orange?

no, it doesnt.

Good Jokes More Good Jokes

What's the best part about being a mute?

It goes without saying...

Why are volcanoes mischievous?

Because they erupt to no good.

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What fruit can't get married?

CANTELOPE

What do you call a fruit that won't get married?

A Cantaloupe.

Expect Jokes More Expect Jokes

Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?

Pupil: I expect it's around Hadrian's garden miss!

Whats the best thing about dating a Cleveland Cavaliers fan?

They never expect a ring

Downvote Jokes More Downvote Jokes

What gets you a downvote?

Reposting an old joke that wasn't funny the first time. What gets you an upvote? Posting an original joke, or a funny joke I've heard before. What get's you 5 upvotes? Being

Whose mother likes rap music?

Yo Momma! My eight-year-old daughter wants to see how many upvotes she can get. Ten-year old brother is interested in downvotes.

Reception Jokes More Reception Jokes

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

Why did AT&ampT have the worst wedding?

No reception.