Orange Jokes

What would you call oranges if they were purple?

Purples

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How did the U. S. elect an Orange as president?

Gerrymandarin.

What does the result of this election and Netflix have in common?

Orange is the new Black

What do you call a man holding two apples in one hand and three oranges in another?

No chance of blocking an uppercut.

What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!

What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

What did the banana say to the orange?

Fruit can't talk

What do you call a made-up orange?

Pulp Fiction!

What were Charles Darwin's favorite fruits?

Oranges and peaches.

What made the orange stop suddenly?

It just ran out of juice.

What is the smartest fruit?

It's the orange, BOY CAN IT CONCENTRATE!

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What's bright, red and orange and looks good on hippies?

Fire.

What do you call an animal with a long neck and a love for oranges?

A Jiraffa.

Why did the orange fall out with the orange-peeler?

Because he was taking the pith. /gets coat. bai.

Who's there? Orange. Orange who?

Orange you glad I painfully waited until I was done cooking your food to take a poop?

What happened when the orange slept with the dirty lemon?

He got lemonaids.

What do Oranges and Apples have in common?

They're both orange except for the Apple.

What's the difference between a horse?

The orange has handlebars

What Is The Best Boxing A Mexican Does?

A: Oranges.

Why doesn't orange rhyme with anything?

Because it's a Mandarin word

Why did the Orange stop rolling?

It ran out of juice!!!

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here

What's blue and square?

An orange in disguise! Boom!!!

What's the difference between an orange?

One of them doesn't.

What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange ?

Dad dad look what marma-laid' !

How about baked chocolate cake?

Nah" "Yummy choccy bake " "No" Guy who named the orange: I have an idea...

How do you juice an orange?

Play with its citorus

Why are oranges like bells?

You can peel (peal) both of them.

What do you call an orange thats been in the sun too long?

tangerine

Why is the orange Rolling down the road?

Because it's run out of juice!!!!!! (:

What did one orange say to the other orange?

Do you speak Mandarin

Why couldn't the apple speak to the orange ?

because he didn't know Mandarin

What are stories about oranges?

Pulp Fiction

What's blue and orange &amp sits at the bottom of a swimming pool?

A baby with burst armbands.

What is the difference between an apple and an orange?

None, the two are not a snake

Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange?

Because the lime was engaged.

What rhymes with orange?

no, it doesnt.

Why were all the oompa loompas black in Willy Wonka &amp the Chocolate Factory?

Because Orange is the New Black.

What do you get when you cross a bunny with an orange?

A pip squeak.

What happened when the Orange slept with the skanky Lemon?

He got Lemonaids.

What kind of oranges do you take on a boat?

Naval oranges. I'msosorry.

Why does America use Mexicans to pick our oranges?

As we saw on Tuesday, it takes 1/2 of America to pick an Orange.

Why are oranges the smartest fruit?

Because they are made to concentrate.

Why didn’t the orange win the race?

It ran out of juice.

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Outside Jokes More Outside Jokes

What is dry on the outside filled with water and blows up buildings ?

A fish tank !

What starts with a 'C', contains the letters U, N, and T, is hairy on the outside, and soft on the inside?

A coconut!

Mandarin Jokes More Mandarin Jokes

What did one mandarin say to the other mandarin?

I don't know, I don't speak Mandarin.

What do you call a Chinese orange?

A Mandarin

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

What's "saying grace?

Me: It's when we thank the one who provided our food. 4-year-old: We thank the microwave

What is the sun's favourite kind of food?

Sol food

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What do bees do if they don't want to drive?

A: Wait at the buzz stop.

What do bees do if they want to use public transport ?

Wait at a buzz stop !

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What mysterious hair product does Lucifer use to keep himself looking good?

Arcane-gel!

Why do bald-headed men never use keys?

Because they've lost their locks.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?

I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught.

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

Wait, I can explain everything!

Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

How do boats apologise?

S ry!

What do you call a machine that automatically paddles your boat?

A row bot.

Fe Jokes More Fe Jokes

What do you get if you cross Tina Turner with an orang-utan?

A: a f*ing ugly orang-utan

What is the definition of 'making love'?

Something a woman does while a guy is f***ing her.