What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange ?

Dad dad look what marma-laid' !

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans?

Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.

Why did the storm trooper return his iPhone?

Because it wasn't the droid he was looking for!

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

How do like really laid-back types answer the phone?

Mellow.

Why aren't there any nails in a lesbian's floor?

A. They're all laid with tongue and groove.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What's Irish and sits on a porch?

Pati 'O' Furniture

Who the hell buys furniture online?

Why would you buy a chair or couch you can't even sit in What if it has burlap cushions stuffed w/hay

Orange Jokes More Orange Jokes

What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

Why are oranges the smartest fruit?

Because they are made to concentrate.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What kinds of birds are raised by only their mothers?

Blackbirds

Why didn't the mother splinter call her son on his birth-day?

Because he's a little prick!