Why didn't the mother splinter call her son on his birth-day?

Because he's a little prick!

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What's a dentist's favorite time of day?

Tooth-hurty I'll show myself out

Birth Jokes More Birth Jokes

What do you call the birth of a lie?

Myth-conception

What hurts more giving birth or being kicked in the balls?

A women will normally want more children after a year or two. No man has ever wanted another kick in the balls. Case closed.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage?

Dad: yea sure yells up to me son, you live with this guy now!

What did the buffalo say before his son left for school?

Bison

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

Why are south italian men so small?

Because when they are kids their mothers always tell them: "If you grow up you have to work" *Translated from italian hope it makes as much sense as there

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie?

It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

Splinter Jokes More Splinter Jokes

How many LA cops does it take to change light bulb?

Six. One to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters.

Why are the Ninja Turtles on the No-Fly list?

Because they are members of an underground Splinter cell.

Little Prick Jokes More Little Prick Jokes

Why didn't the mother splinter call her son on his birth-day?

Because he's a little prick!

What's the difference between a cactus and a schoolbus?

Cactus has little pricks on the outside