Why didn't the mother splinter call her...

How do people see so much on internet these days?

They put on the Google!

What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

my girlfriend who's a high school teacher heard this from a student the other day) Q: What do you call a cow with 3 legs? A: Lean Beef Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Ground Beef Q: What do you call a cow with 2 legs? A: Your mom

Birth Jokes More Birth Jokes

How does a mermaid give birth?

By sea-section!

What hurts more giving birth or being kicked in the balls?

A women will normally want more children after a year or two. No man has ever wanted another kick in the balls. Case closed.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What's faster than a black man with your TV?

His son with your DVD player! I mean no racism in this joke*

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What do you do when your mother-in-law is swaying towards you?

You pull the trigger again.

How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb?

One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her.

Splinter Jokes More Splinter Jokes

Why didn't the mother splinter call her son on his birth-day?

Because he's a little prick!

Why are the Ninja Turtles on the No-Fly list?

Because they are members of an underground Splinter cell.

Little Prick Jokes More Little Prick Jokes

Why didn't the mother splinter call her son on his birth-day?

Because he's a little prick!

What's the difference between a cactus and a schoolbus?

Cactus has little pricks on the outside