What has two thumbs and got laid last night?

My hands.

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Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What's the difference between the foundation of a building and the average Redittor?

The foundation's been laid.

How are men like carpet tiles?

If you lay them properly the first time around you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What are the pros and cons of wearing two watches?

On one hand, you have a watch... But on the other hand, you have a watch.

How many of you believe in telekinesis?

Raise MY hand!

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What does the Doctor say on a one-night stand going wrong?

It's bigger on the inside(http://www.youtube.com/watch v=6zXDo4dL7SU)

What's hard and hairy and sticks out of your pajamas at night?

Your head.

Thumb Jokes More Thumb Jokes

Where does a thumb meet its type?

At oh-my-goodness! Skip

Where does the thumb meet its type?

At the SPACE BAR! reddit is fun! I'm staring at the keyboard tryin' to think up a joke and voila'!