What has two thumbs and got laid last night?

My hands.

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Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

Why didn't the guitarist get laid?

Because he had bad pickups

What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?

A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand?

Because she uses the other one to sing.

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Why did the sauce need a night light?

Because he was alfredo the dark!

What do Jesus and your mom have in common?

They both got nailed all night.

Thumb Jokes More Thumb Jokes

What has two thumbs and doesn't understand jokes that require a visual component?

This guy!

Where does the thumb meet its type?

At the SPACE BAR! reddit is fun! I'm staring at the keyboard tryin' to think up a joke and voila'!