What do you call a man holding two apples in one hand and three oranges in another?

No chance of blocking an uppercut.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

When two bears asked a pastor to marry them in the forest, what did he say?

Hold on, let me get my bear rings."

What do you mean I've had enough to drink?

Hold my beer while I fight this lamppost.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How can you tell that Caitlyn Jenner was once a man?

Because she's better at being a woman than most women are.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in your swimming pool?

Bob

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What do you get hanging from Apple trees?

Sore arms.

What do you call a business that doesn't sell Apple's sea monster?

A bus

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How cold is it outside?

It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

Whats the most handiest tool ever?

A Hand!

Block Jokes More Block Jokes

Whats up?

Me:Onion prices. S:You know what I mean,like What's crackin' M:Nutshells. S:Really Fine.What's poppin M:Corn. *Blocked*

Whats the difference between a woman and a dog?

Put them both in the trunk of your car, drive around the block, and see which ones happy to see you afterwards.

Orange Jokes More Orange Jokes

What does the result of this election and Netflix have in common?

Orange is the new Black

Why doesn't orange rhyme with anything?

Because it's a Mandarin word

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

What do sperm and politicians have in common?

About 1 in every 500 or 600 million have a chance at becoming human.

What do politicians and sperm have in common?

About 1 in every 600 million has a chance of becoming a human.