What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk?

A dead bird.

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

Why couldn't the soldier feel his legs?

Because his arms were blown off.

What did the guy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

Cancer.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you call a snobbish thief walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What's it called when Jesus walks across the street?

A cross walk

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

Why do aliens always disembark via ramp?

Do they have problems with stairs Or are flying saucers just handicap-accessible

What do you call pants that can fly?

Peter Pants I just made it up

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What color was the Dallas shooters eyes?

Blue. One blue this way and one blue that way.

What do you call a fish with no eye?

Disabled.

Dead Bird Jokes More Dead Bird Jokes

What did u do last night?

Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying

What do you call a dead bird that was suicidal?

A Robin Williams.