Dead Bird Jokes

What does have eyes but can't see, has legs but can't walk, and has wings but can't fly?

A dead bird.

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What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk?

A dead bird.

What do you call a dead bird that was suicidal?

A Robin Williams.

What has wings but can't fly, legs but can't walk, and a mouth but can't speak?

A dead bird

What did u do last night?

Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying

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Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

Where did the Martian put his teacup?

On his flying saucer.

What do you call a black guy who can fly a plane?

A pilot what else would you call him? You racist prick!

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your front porch?

Matt. Others:

What do you call a man who has lost the lower parts of his legs, but still somehow has his feet?

Tony.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...

'Can I join you?'

What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar?

A: Ok you 2 dont start anything

Swallow Jokes More Swallow Jokes

What is a monster's favourite game?

A: Swallow the leader.

What Bird?

Which bird symbolizes love? Swallow.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What do you mean the school must be haunted ?

Daughter: Well the principal kept going on about the school spirit.

Where's your wedding ring?

I said, "I had to wash my hands so I took it off and placed it on my lover--I mean your mother's kitchen counter."

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it?

A coconut.

Why can't I have coffee?

Me: It'll make u even more energetic than u already are 7: But u drink it all the time& u never have energy!

Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

Why can't the Philippines field an ice hockey team?

The players all drowned in spring training.

Where are you most likely to drown?

Deepends*

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

Why did the funeral director cover his mouth?

he kept coffin

How do you cover 18 holes with one hole?

Have your mom sit down on a golf course.