What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar?

A: Ok you 2 dont start anything

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What's the craic?

2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.

What's the difference between a baby and a politician?

Saying they are full of sh*t means 2 completely different things.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What if my knees start to hurt?

Me to instructor: See what I'm up against

How do you start a rave in Africa?

Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What works in a circus walks a tightrope and has claws ?

An acrocat !

What did the super spy polyatomic ion say when he walked into the bar?

The name's Bond, Covalent Bond

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What was the Olympic lifter missing from his bar ?

Weight for it...

How do you get a Polak out of the bath tub?

A: Throw in a bar of soap.

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

What did the bartender say to the alien?

You're drunk ET, go home!"

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

Jumper Cable Jokes More Jumper Cable Jokes

What did the bartender say to the jumper cables?

You better not try to start anything.

What's the slowest thing in the world?

A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.