Which actress would you like to get stuck in an elevator with?

Me: One who knows how to fix elevators.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you call it when a deer knows karate?

Tae-fawn-doe

What did C.S. Lewis say about The Lord of the Rings books?

I don't know what you're Tolkien about!" Yeah, sorry.. I know it's dumb.

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

How many kids does Adrian Peterson have?

More than you can shake a stick at

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

One's a marsupial, the other's a Geordie stuck in a lift

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why do Buddhists always buy 1 ply toilet paper?

Because they like to get in touch with their inner self.

What do you call Stephen Hawking rolling away from an explosion?

Hot wheels (First joke, hope you like it.)

Elevator Jokes More Elevator Jokes

What's red and goes up and down?

A tomato in an elevator.

What's red and moves up and down?

A tomato in an elevator :)

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

What's up, girl?

Do you like bad boys kicks rug or good guys fixes rug

How long does it take a tweaker to go shopping?

An hour 5 minutes for the Ramen noodles and foil. 55 minutes to fix the squeaky shopping cart wheel.

Actress Jokes More Actress Jokes

Why do they say "character actress"?

Is that to differentiate them from the all those actresses that only play walls and bits of furniture

What do you call a woman that is beautiful and smart?

An actress.