Elevator Jokes

How do you get over a fear of elevators?

Just take some steps to avoid them!

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What's black & white and can't turn around in an elevator?

A nun with a javelin through her neck.

What do you say when trying to catch the elevator?

Hodor! Hodor!"

Why do you never wanna see an elevator in a horror game?

Cuz you know something's about to go down. Im sorry

Why did the ghost get in the elevator?

to raise his spirits

Where is the lift?

American: You mean the elevator? English: Yes, we call it a lift. American: It's called an elevator. We invented it. English: And we invented the language.

Why'd the short man take the elevator up?

He was feeling down

What is a burp?

A fart taking the elevator.

What did the escalator say to the elevator?

Nothing, he just staired.

What did the Elevator say to the Escalator?

Well that escalated quickly.

What's red, round and goes up and down, up and down?

A tomato in an elevator

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What's red and goes up and down?

A tomato in an elevator.

What did the elevator say to the stairs?

Never mind, I'll escalator

What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside?

A Lift (only a joke, my American friends)

What can an elevator do that a black man can't?

Raise a family.

Why did the ghost go into the elevator?

To lift his spirits.

Why does riding in an elevator make ghosts happy?

It lifts spirits

What did Kenny G say when he got off the elevator?

from Stephen King - The Cell)

What's the difference between a Mexican and an elevator?

An elevator can raise a family I'll just see myself out.

Why did the elevator take antidepressants?

It was feeling down

What's the difference between a guitar and an elevator?

I didn't expose myself inside a guitar this morning.

Why do I tell jokes in elevators?

Because they're funny on many levels.

What's black, white, red, and can't turn around in an elevator?

A nun with a javelin through her head.

What's yellow and goes up and down?

A: A banana in an elevator.

Why did King Kong.... Climb the Empire State Building?

He couldn't fit in the elevator.

Why couldn't the fun guy go in the elevator?

There wasn't mush-room.

What do you call an elevator full of white people?

A box of crackers.

What's green and purple and goes up and down?

A: Barney in an elevator.

What has four legs and yells "Hodi doh, hodi doh?

Two black guys trying to catch an elevator.

What's small red and goes up and down?

A tomato in an elevator.

Why shouldn't you take your clothes off while riding the elevator?

It could get you an in descent exposure charge.

What's the difference between an elevator and a black guy?

The elevator can raise a child.

What is the difference between a black man and an elevator?

An elevator can raise a child.

What has four legs and says "hoe de doe, hoe de doe"?

Two black guys trying to catch an elevator.

What do ghosts do when they're sad?

They get in an elevator to lift their spirits.

What is the difference between a Black Guy and an elevator ?

One can raise a child

What is the difference between an elevator and black people?

And elevator can raise kids

What's black and white and can't turn around in an elevator?

A nun with a spear through her head.

How will I know when I'm an adult?

and I said, ' When you hear your favorite Justin Bieber song playing in an elevator'

What's the difference between a black dad and a elevator?

A elevator can raise a kid

What would Confucius say about errors made in elevators?

He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels.

What's red and moves up and down?

A tomato in an elevator :)

Which actress would you like to get stuck in an elevator with?

Me: One who knows how to fix elevators.

What do men dream of?

Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.

What's the difference between an elevator and a redditor?

An elevator has a GF

Why do ghosts like to ride elevators?

It lifts their spirits.

What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something.

What's black, white and red, and can't turn around in an elevator?

A nun with a spear through her head.

What makes a ghost happy?

An elevator. It lifts the spirits.

What has six legs and goes "Hodeedo, hodeedo?

Three black guys about to miss the elevator

What does Michael Bolton say when he walks into an elevator?

This place rocks!"

What do you call it when a criminal goes down an elevator?

A con descending.

Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator?

It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.

What's black &amp white and can't turn around in an elevator?

A nun with a javelin through her neck.

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What do you call people who teach their kids to use abstinence as birth control?

Grandparents.

Why are the only kids in Warsaw magnet schools from Central Poland?

Cause North and South Poles repel each other ...

Elevator Joke Jokes More Elevator Joke Jokes

What's the best thing about elevator jokes?

They work on so many levels.

Why are elevator jokes so funny?

Because they work on so many levels

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

How many programmers do you need to fix a light bulb?

None, it is a hardware issue!

How will an IT guy fix a lamp?

He'll restart the nuclear power plant

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food?

He wanted to raised stewed beef!

Why did the cultists adopt a dead child?

They wanted to raise the dead.

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

What do Kim Kardashian and her dad have in common?

They both got famous for getting a black man off.

Why shouldn't you laugh when a black man falls off his bike?

It could be your bike. EDIT: Spelling.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What has four legs and says "hoe de doe, hoe de doe"?

Two black guys trying to catch an elevator.

What did Yoda say to Luke when he was constipated?

Try or try not, there is no do.

Avoid Jokes More Avoid Jokes

How do you get a hipster to take a shower?

Give them a leaky showerhead. You know, so they can avoid the main stream.

How did I avoid getting hit by a Wfay?

I got the f out of the way.

Confucius Jokes More Confucius Jokes

What would Confucius say about errors made in elevators?

He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels.

What was Confucius' favorite comfort food?

Macaroni and Qi.