How do you fix a broken Tuba?

Tuba glue.

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How many unemployed actors does it take to change a light bulb?

fixed) 100. 1 to change it and 99 to stand around and complain about how they coulda done a better job.

Why are ugly guys better with computers then women?

Turning off a computer often fixes the problem.

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How would Arnold Schwarzenegger describe a sousaphone?

It's not a tuba!"

What is tuba plus tuba?

Fourba!