Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth?

And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?

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Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

Why are branches attached to trees?

Because they stick

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Oh yeah. Imagination.

Where are things that are very average produced?

The satis-factory.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

Why did the moron think his girlfriend was into metal?

He found steel wool pads in her bathroom.

What do you call a corn cob on a track team?

A maize runner. Credit goes to my girlfriend.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Whats a mans favorite word that starts with 'm' and ends in 'arriage'?

A miscarriage! This joke never gets old, just like the baby!

What's black and taps on the window?

A baby in the microwave :)

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Who says you can't make someone love you?

I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

What's six inches long that women love?

Folding money.

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What did the boy tell the priest in the confessional?

Nothing. It's rude to talk with your mouth full.

What should you do when you see a blond with a pin in her mouth?

RUN! She's got a grenade in her mouth!

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

Why wouldn't blastoise share with charizard?

He was a shellfish pokemon.

Why is Sigma good at sharing?

Because he only ever takes sum of the numbers!