How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher?

When the old one expects you to "do your share"

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

They'll tell you

What is the real reason leaves fall to the ground?

They know people will blow them.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you call the amount of time it takes to win an argument with a lawyer?

An attornity.

What time is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty (2:30)

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

What do you call a Pirate you share an apartment with?

Your room-matey.

What did the pig do when a beetle landed in his feed trough?

He ate it quickly before the others could ask him to share.

Expect Jokes More Expect Jokes

What do I have to do?

F-Well I know you, so I'm expecting very little. Mission accomplished.

How do you expect us to loan you money if you can't prove to us that you don't need it?

Banks

Old Jokes More Old Jokes

What do you call a black-white-black-white.... What do you call a black-white-black-white-black?

A nun falling off the stairs!! A really old one there.

What did Thomas Jefferson grow?

Old.