How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher?

When the old one expects you to "do your share"

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What does "IDK" mean?

I keep asking people, but they don't know either.

How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, because they charge you $500 for the iLightbulb.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why do people point at their wrist when asking for the time?

Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

Which rappers had a flow that could simultaneously speed up and slow down at the same time?

MC Escher

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

How do you convince your neighbor to share their water with you?

Try to get a long well.

Why do I have to share a room with my twin sister?

ME: Because we only anticipated having one of you.

Expect Jokes More Expect Jokes

What do you call someone who keeps trying the same thing again and again, yet expects different results?

A weapons designer for the First Order.

What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day?

SINGLE

Old Jokes More Old Jokes

How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.

How many yankees fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They'll just stand in the dark talking about how good the old one was.