How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher?

When the old one expects you to "do your share"

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus weighed 4.2 kg?

Cause thay had a weigh in the mangor.

How do we know God is not a woman?

Because the Earth is not a sandwich!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you get when you send a duck backwards in time to the moment before you sent the duck?

A Pair-a-ducks.

What did one frog say.to the other?

Time's sure fun when you're having flies!

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

What did the fish say when it crashed into a wall?

Damn! (This is my go-to joke that someone told me in highschool like 7 years ago. Felt like sharing it.)

What do WNBA players make?

Sandwiches. Friend told me this today and had to share

Expect Jokes More Expect Jokes

Why did Tony cross the road?

To get to the other side. He then turned around, stuck up his middle finger and said, "Hah, you were all expecting a joke, and all you got was an Anthony joke!"

What did the redditor say when he opened his package from the UniBomber?

Wow, I did not expect this post to blow up

Old Jokes More Old Jokes

What do priests and zits have in common?

They bost bust on 12 year Olds faces

What are the three "O"s of bad driving?

Old. Oriental. Ovaries.