What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop an onion.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says "Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud..." the Scottish farmer says "Hey McCloud get off of my ewe"

What's the difference between a violinist and a fiddler?

How red their necks are.

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing

What bounces and makes kids cry?

The cheque I just sent to Save the Children.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why did you drop the baby?

Well Mrs Smith said he was a bonny bouncing baby so I wanted to see if he did.

Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby?

They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.

Onion Jokes More Onion Jokes

What do you call an edible ion?

An onion

Where do onions fight?

In the onion ring!

Chop Jokes More Chop Jokes

What was Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite snack?

Chopped dates.

What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup?

Everybody can chop pork but nobody can pea soup.