Egyptian Jokes

What do you call an egyptian sun god with a colombian accent?

ShakiRA

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What's up?

Not Egyptian Air

What did the ancient Egyptian cheerleader chant?

THERE IS ONE GOD, HE IS THE SUN GOD! RA! RA! RA!"

What do you say when you get swindled by an Egyptian tour guide?

Egypt me!

What muscle do Egyptian soldiers generally lose control of, shortly before major battles?

The sphinxster ....

Why was the Egyptian boy confused?

His daddy was really a mummy.

What does Egyptian airport security have in common with Los Angeles airport security?

Both have LAX security.

Why did the small Egyptian climb to the top of the pyramid?

He couldn't see the point.

What do you call a stubborn Egyptian?

In denile

What do you call three Egyptian women in a bathtub?

Gorillas in the mist

What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?

ANKH ANKH!!

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What do you call an Egyptian surprise attack?

A Tut offensive.

Where do Old Egyptian people go to Swim?

The Senile River

Why did Baby Moses believe he was Egyptian?

Because he was in da Nile.

What do you call a fart from an Egyptian stranger?

Toot uncommon

Why was the Ancient Egyptian boy confused?

His daddy was a mummy

What do you call a rare Egyptian King?

King Nottocommon

Why did the Egyptian spit out his water?

Because it came from the Suez.

How do you enter an Egyptian's tomb?

Tut-an-kham-en

What do you call an Egyptian with a gastrological disorder?

Toot Uncommon.

Why was the Egyptian queen so grumpy?

Because, she was on her pyramid!

Why did it take the computer so long to decide whether it wanted to buy an Egyptian cotton sheet?

Because it had too many threads.

Where would you find an Egyptian psychopathic swimmer?

In denial.

Why were the locals dissapointed when an old, decrepit, broken down bus rolled into an Egyptian town?

They wished it was Anubis.

What do you call an inexperienced Egyptian God?

Anoobis

Why did the Egyptian kid in therapy?

Because he thought his daddy was his mummy.

Why were ancient Egyptian children confused?

Because their daddies were mummies.

What do you call an Egyptian spine manipulator?

A Cairo-practor

What do you call an Egyptian bone-setter?

Cairo-practor.

How many governments does it take to make an Egyptian happy?

I'll let you know when I find out...

What do you get if you cross an Egyptian mummy with a car mechanic?

Toot and Car Man.

What do you call a an Egyptian crocodile who swears they live in Florida?

In da-Nile

Why are Egyptian saxophonists all such good friends?

They've got a "toot in common."

What do you call an Egyptian back-doctor?

A Cairo-practor.

Why was the Egyptian kid confused?

Because his daddy was a mummy

Why do Egyptian farts smell the same?

They have toots in common.

What did one Egyptian say to the other Egyptian after they both farted?

Hey we have a toot in common.

Why can Egyptian crocodiles never admit when they are wrong?

They're always in de Nile.

Why dont Egyptian Chefs do well in the circus?

They always fal-afel off the tight rope.

How did the Egyptian go broke?

He got caught up in a pyramid scheme.

What do you call an Egyptian doctor who works on peoples backs?

A Cairopractor!

What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet?

Egyptian dummies.

Why do all Egyptian's farts smell the same?

Because they have a tutankhamun!

What do you call an Egyptian spine adjuster?

A Cairopractor

What do Egyptian kings sing on their birthday?

For he's a jolly good Pharaoh. Was that bad Ye, pharaoh-nuff

What Egyptian King called for equal farting rights for all?

Toot-in-common

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"

Why couldn't the Egyptian fisherman get over the fact that his boat had sunk?

Because he was stuck in denial.

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Why did they plant trees in Harlem?

Public transportation.

Who do Egyptians pray to when the public transportation breaks down?

Anubis (If you don't get it, say it slower.)

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What happens when the smog/fog/smoke over Los Angeles lifts?

You see L.A.

What happens when the smog rises in Los Angeles...?

UCLA.

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Why does Shakira have such a hard time sleeping at night?

Because her hips won't lie.

What do you call an egyptian sun god with a colombian accent?

ShakiRA

Pyramid Jokes More Pyramid Jokes

Why did the Egyptians build the pyramids?

To get to the other side.

How did the grave robber perish when he became trapped in a pyramid?

He died of asphinxiation!

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

What size lumber is used to build homes in Dubai?

Dubai fours

How is Islam like a GPS?

You may think you're on the right path, but if you follow it literally, you'll end up crashing into a building.

Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

Why is religion like mobile gaming?

Free-to-pray, pray-to-win.

What's the difference between a praying nun and a girl taking a bath?

One has hope in her soul and the other has soap in her hole

Muscle Jokes More Muscle Jokes

What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics?

They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy.

How was the bear able to move in order to get honey?

It had muscles.

Toot Jokes More Toot Jokes

What do you call a fart from an Egyptian stranger?

Toot uncommon

Why are Egyptian saxophonists all such good friends?

They've got a "toot in common."