Pray Jokes

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

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Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

What do you call it when you talk to God?

Praying. Now what do you call it when God talks to you? Schizophrenia, it's called schizophrenia.

What's the difference between a girl that's praying and a girl that's having a bubble bath?

One has hope in her soul, The other has soap in her hole.

What foreplay does the praying mantis girlfriend enjoys ?

Being given head.

What is a hypocrite?

An atheist writer praying his book will sell.

Why is religion like mobile gaming?

Free-to-pray, pray-to-win.

Who do Egyptians pray to when the public transportation breaks down?

Anubis (If you don't get it, say it slower.)

What would Gregor Mendel pray for if he had a blender for his experiments?

Whirled Peas

What do you call a religious owl?

A bird of pray.

What's the difference between a praying nun and a girl taking a bath?

One has hope in her soul and the other has soap in her hole

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What did the philanderer say to the gardener praying in the shed?

How do you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?

What did the veggies say, as they sat down for supper?

Lettuce, pray."

What is the last thing a tossed salad says to itself before being devoured by a human?

A: Lettuce pray

What do you call a group of Vigilante Aussie Nuns?

Birds of Pray

Why don't Baptist preachers color their hair?

They just pray the gray away

Why is a praying muslim like apple pie with ice cream?

Both are in *a la mode*.

How do churches stay so strong?

They pray on the weak.

What did the fruit say to the vegetable before dinner?

Lettuce, pray.

What are you praying for?

Husband: For guidance. Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!!

Where does the Islamic botanist go to pray?

In the Mossque.

What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables?

Lettuce pray they turnip.

Why did the eagle fly into the church?

It was a bird of pray

What does Axl Rose do before he prays?

Gets down on his SHA-NA-NA-NA-NA-KNEES! KNEES!

Where do salt lovers go to pray?

OC The taberNaCl. (Sorry..) (X-posted to dad jokes.)

Who should you pray to if you don't want the airplane that you are on to get diverted?

Diversion Mary

What does a noodle say after praying?

Ramen

What kind of birds go to church every Sunday?

Birds of Pray

Who doesn't?

There he is now Medieval Art: Good morrow! Pray tell- How fare thee on this day of providence

Who do cows pray to?

Moohammad

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Hypocrite Jokes More Hypocrite Jokes

Who does a hypocrite really hate?

A hypocrite!

What do you call an equation with no solution?

A hypocrite.

Foreplay Jokes More Foreplay Jokes

What does Wonder Woman call foreplay?

Amazon Prime.

What's the Welsh word for shearing a sheep?

Foreplay

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

What's the difference between a woman in a bathtub and a woman in a church?

The woman in church has hope in her soul.

How do you get rid of somebody?

Give them a ticket for a flight on Malaysian Airlines and hope that they will live up to their reputation!

Egyptians Jokes More Egyptians Jokes

Who do Egyptians pray to when the public transportation breaks down?

Anubis (If you don't get it, say it slower.)

How do you know ancient Egyptians were black?

Because they never dig up daddies.

Tumblr User Jokes More Tumblr User Jokes

What kind of drugs to tumblr users take?

Anti-oppressants.

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

Soul Jokes More Soul Jokes

What has five bodies and one soul?

A Kia full of Gingers.

Who did the Dyslexic Devil Worshipper sell his soul to?

Santa

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why can't a storm trooper get a girl pregnant?

Because they always miss their target!

What kind of disease did the guy get when he skipped the condom and plowed a girl with down's syndrome?

Slow clap

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What about yours?

Me:I wouldn't know... I don't talk to him about you...

What did the pastry from Denmark say to the pastry from Norway?

Hey, I'm Danish. JK they're pastries, they can't talk.