What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables?

Lettuce pray they turnip.

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Where are the posters?

WIFE: THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! In other room *cat is furiously stuffing missing dog posters into paper shredder*

What do you call a deer missing an eye?

No-eye deer.

Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

What's the difference between a girl that's praying and a girl that's having a bubble bath?

One has hope in her soul, The other has soap in her hole.

Who should you pray to if you don't want the airplane that you are on to get diverted?

Diversion Mary

Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?

Deja Moo!

Why did the farmer make a high-pitched gasp?

Because he was tired of the sigh-low.

Turnip Jokes More Turnip Jokes

What did the farmer say to Lil Jon?

Turnip for what

What kinda vegetables like to party?

Lettuce turnip da beet!

Lettuce Jokes More Lettuce Jokes

What is the recipe for honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes

Why was the lettuce scared of the salad?

Cos.