What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables?

Lettuce pray they turnip.

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

How do you know that an Asian has robbed your house?

Your mailbox is missing!

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..

Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

What did the philanderer say to the gardener praying in the shed?

How do you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?

Why don't Baptist preachers color their hair?

They just pray the gray away

Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

Why does the corn hate the farmer?

Because he picks his ears!

Why did the farmer call his horse Baseball?

Because it's covered with horsehide!

Turnip Jokes More Turnip Jokes

What did the vegatable say to the fruit?

Turnip

What did one turnip say to the other?

We're white and bulbous, just like America

Lettuce Jokes More Lettuce Jokes

Why was the lettuce scared of the salad?

Cos.

What is the recipe for honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes