Turnip Jokes

What did the vegetable say to the dj?

lettuce turnip the beet

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What did the vegatable say to the fruit?

Turnip

What vegetable parties the hardest?

A Turnip.

How do farmers party?

They turnip the beets!

What do root vegetables do at tha club?

Turnip

What did the collard green do when his favorite song came on the radio?

He got turnip

What did the farmer say to Lil Jon?

Turnip for what

What do snotty vegetables do when they see something they don't like ?

They 'turnip' their noses.

What kinda vegetables like to party?

Lettuce turnip da beet!

What did the carrot say when the last vegetable arrived at the party?

TURNIP

What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables?

Lettuce pray they turnip.

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What did the vegetables say at the garden party?

Lettuce turnip the beet

What was the vegan rock band's first hit?

Lettuce turnip the beet!

What did one turnip say to the other?

We're white and bulbous, just like America

What do vegetables that go to college do on the weekends?

They Turnip

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What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

How do you lead a horse to water?

With carrots

Arrive Jokes More Arrive Jokes

What does a member of the British Royal Family say when they are reaching climax?

I"m arriving, I'm arriving."

What do you call that feeling when the bus finally arrives?

a peasantfeeling

Weekend Jokes More Weekend Jokes

Why do pessimists always think it's the weekend?

Because every day is a sadder-day.

How JokeExplainBot spent his weekend?

Explaining his wife.

Root Jokes More Root Jokes

How do trees encourage one another?

They say "I'm rooting for you"

What's the hardest part of a gardener's job?

Getting to the root of the problem.

America Jokes More America Jokes

Why doesn't Mexico have any good athletes?

Because anybody who can run, jump, and swim is already in America

How many liberals does it take to defend America?

Nobody knows, they've never tried.

Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

What do you call a farmer who is really good at his job?

A man who is outstanding in his field.

Why did the farmer get an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

What do you call a religious owl?

A bird of pray.

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?

That's where you wash all your vegetables!

Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to chew?

The wheelchair