37+ Funny ' Jokes - Curious United

What do you call the 'n' in government?

CryptoN Only few will get this

What's the best thing about dating twenty nine year olds?

The get all you '90s references.

How do you get from Iran to Iraq without moving?

You switch the 'n' with 'q'.

What's the Terminator's favourite band?

Guns 'n Roses

Why can't you trust 8?

cause she's a two-timin' four.

What do you call an early bird special double date at a black-Vietnamese fusion restaurant?

Pho fo' fo' at fo'

What's the word that starts with 'n', ends with 'r', and you wouldn't ever want to call a black guy?

Neighbor

This joke may have profanity.

Why does the Brotherhood of Steel from Fallout hate '80s music?

Because of the synths.

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.

What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?

Everyone thinks it's 'R', but his first love be the 'C'.

How do you know if a flock of geese is from Canada?

They fly in an 'A' (eh)

What did the bobby (English policeman) say to the hitchhiker with three heads, no arms and one leg?

Ello 'ello 'ello, you look 'armless, 'op in."

What cell phone service do Stormtroopers use?

AT & AT.

What do snotty vegetables do when they see something they don't like ?

They 'turnip' their noses.

How do you date a ghost?

You 'WOOOO' him!

Why did the cheese get sent to the asylum?

Coz 'e-mmental!

What that?

What's what ' 'What's up dawg ' 'Nothing much hbu' '... Oh hahahahahaha '

How do we know hamburgers have high IQ's?

They 'loin' fast!

How do you know when... ... a blonde has been using the computer?

There's white-out on the screen. How do you know when a brunette used the computer after a blonde There's writing on the white-out.

What did the tooth say to the dentist?

Fill 'er up!"

How dare you say I'm dumb! Would a dummy get a 'A' on there IQ test?

Hmm

Why did the Irish Football manager flood the pitch ?

So he could bring his 'sub' on

What do you call a Muslim who plays '50s rock music during Ramadan?

a Rama-dana-ding-dong

Why a pirate could not spell iris?

He had only one 'i'

Well...

That’s a deep subject.

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?

The food is great, but there’s just no atmosphere.

How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?

Your head hits the ceiling!

What’s 50 Cent’s name in Zimbabwe?

200 Dollars.

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

What’s E.T. short for?

He’s only got little legs.

What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password?

1forest1

What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland?

Well, the flag is a big plus.

What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?

About 5000 miles.

Where’s the bin?

I haven’t been anywhere!

Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

What’s the object-oriented way to become wealthy?

Inheritance.

How do you make the number one disappear?

Add the letter G and it’s “gone”!