What do you say when you get swindled by an Egyptian tour guide?

Egypt me!

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What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?

ANKH ANKH!!

Why was the Ancient Egyptian boy confused?

His daddy was a mummy

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Why was King Tutenkhamen considered the best pharaoh in all of Egypt?

A: Because he always showed up in cuneiform.

What do you call a bovine that won't leave Egypt?

MOO-barak!