How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you throw a drowning aboriginal?

His wife and kids

However, a man goes home and tells his wife about it. How is this possible?

He wasn't single.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why are there no Wal Marts in Iraq, Iran, or Afghanistan?

Because there are already too many targets. (credit: some old veteran bum looking guy sleeping on a bench at the police station I went to today.)

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why do I have to say please when I ask for a sandwich at a restaurant?

They don't say please when I'm paying. They say, "That'll be $5". I should be able to say, "That'll be a sandwich."

Why Won't Anyone Tell me the Name of Ukraine's 5th Largest City?

They keep telling me to stop asking...

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How do you like your job testing push-up bras?

The other woman replies, "It has its perks."

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.

Darling Jokes More Darling Jokes

What's your Mom's name?

Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time.... Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then? Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....

How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What's so funny?

asks the dermatologist. "Sorry, it's a inside joke." replies the surgeon.

How high are you! ?

demanded the officer. "No Officer, it's "Hi, how are you "." replied the kid.