How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How do you get your wife to listen to every word without interrupting?

Talk in your sleep.

What did the necrophiliac get after his wife died?

Mourning wood.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both know when you are sleeping.

What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Wiz Khalifa say when he was asked his opinion on the dress?

Yeah, uh huh, you know what it is."

How Do You Make A Blind Man Angry?

Give him a basketball and ask him what it says.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What does a tornado and a woman have in common?

It starts with a little blowing but at the end your house is gone

Why do women live on average two years longer?

Because the time they spend parking doesnt count.

Darling Jokes More Darling Jokes

Why don't kids at school get my sarcastic humor?

Me: Because they have boring parents, darling.

How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

How many trains have you derailed to date?

I replied "It's hard to keep track."

Why are you rushin'?

Too which I replied "Because my grandpa is from Moscow." Duh..