How many women have you slept with?

she asked. I said, "Do you want me to round it to the nearest ten " "Oh, I say. Go on then." she laughed. I said, "0."

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did The Walrus go to a Tupperware party?

He wanted to find a tight seal.

Why did the commuter want the carpool driver to take the bridge?

To avoid car-pool tunnel!

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What is the softest bed for a baby to sleep on?

Cot-on-wool.

What do you call a ghost who's always sleeping?

Lazy bones.

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

What did the alcoholic Dad, away on business, say to the bartender at the hotel bar?

I'm ready to partiem with my perdiem *sorry, not a dad, and the bar tender didn't laugh either

What do you get if you boil funnybones?

A laughing stock.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How much will that be?

asks the neutron. "For you " replies the bartender, "no charge."

Why did the army's craftsman enact a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy?

He didn't want any glaze in the military

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How do soldiers tell if a woman is a genuine Red-Head?

If it's red on top, fire in the hole.

Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A: They don't have balls to scratch.

0 Jokes More 0 Jokes

What did 0 say to 8?

Why's your belt so tight bruh

How much is half of 8?

Pupil: Up and down or across Teacher: What do you mean Pupil: Well up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!

Round Jokes More Round Jokes

How do you stop a baby from crawling round in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Who dropped a wad of notes with an elastic band round them?

I did! Well here's the elastic band.