Soap Jokes

What the difference between a nun in a bathtub & a nurse in the bathtub?

One has soul full of hope & one has a hole full of soap... I'll walk myself out, sorry first post here

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What's the difference between a Nun and a lady taking a bath?

The Nun has hope in her soul and the lady taking a bath has soap in her hole.

How do you make the hippie run out of money?

You hide daddies credit card under a bar of soap.

What is the difference between a girl in a church, and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in the church has hope in her soul, and the girl In the bathtub has soap in her hole.

What's the difference between a girl that's praying and a girl that's having a bubble bath?

One has hope in her soul, The other has soap in her hole.

What's an alcoholic's favorite type of soap?

Bar soap.

Why did the boxer bring a bar of soap into the ring?

The referee said he wanted a clean fight. :D

Where's the best place to hide money from a Mexican?

Under a bar of soap.

Where is the best place to hide a hippie's weed?

Under the soap.

What happened to the boy-band member who dropped the soap In the prison shower?

Let's just say that his backstreet went more than one direction.

Why did the meteorologist bring a bar of soap to work?

He was expecting showers.

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How do you hide money from a hippie?

Put it under the soap.

What's the difference between a praying nun and a girl taking a bath?

One has hope in her soul and the other has soap in her hole

Whats the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?

One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.

What should you do if you see an epileptic having a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry, and soap

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

What kind of soap do Middle Eastern citizens use?

Arab spring

Where's the safest place to hide money from a man?

Under the soap

What's the difference between a nun on her knees and a nun in the bath?

One has hope in their soul, the other has soap in their hole

Why did the little pig hide the soap?

He heard the farmer yell "Hogwash!"

How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath?

Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel wet the soap and flood the bathroom.

What is the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a bathtub?

Answer: One has hope in her soul the other has soap in her hole.

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?

I forgot to wet the soap.

What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?

The woman in church has hope in her soul... The woman In the bathtub has soap in her hole.

What's the difference between a nun and a woman taking a bath?

The nun has hope in her soul, and the woman has soap in her hole. EDIT: NSFW

This joke may have profanity.

Why should you never trust soap?

It's an emulsive lyer.

Who steals all the soap in the bathroom?

The robber ducky

What kind of soap do you use to clean a dirty joke?

Bawdy wash.

Which birds steal soap from the bath ?

Robber ducks !

Where's the soap?

Yes, it does." she replies.

Which villains steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

How do you get a Polak out of the bath tub?

A: Throw in a bar of soap.

How do you launder money?

Put it under the soap.

Why in the hell would I clean my bathtub?

I put soap and water in there every day...

Where do you hide a hippie's weed?

Under the soap.

What did the soap say to the hands as they were being washed?

I think we're in sink."

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Where is the best place to buy authentic shrunken heads?

Brazil

Where's the best place to look for a joke?

The mirror

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Why is a train a bad person to go to the bar with?

Because all he says is "Chug Chug Chug"

Why did Snake walk into the bar?

Because he wears an eyepatch and has poor depth perception.

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

Why did the Eagle go to store to buy some Rogaine?

To cover up his bald spot.

Whats Kim Kardashian and the Middle East got in common?

Both are covered in oil, huge, and been invaded by the West.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a girl and a washing machine?

When I dump a load into the washing machine it doesn't follow me around

What's the difference between a mechanical and a civil engineer?

One builds weapons and the other build targets.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What do you call a Mexican on a RIDING lawn mower?

Promoted

Why is it hard to play Uno with Mexicans?

They steal all the green cards.

Nurse Jokes More Nurse Jokes

Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?

Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side.

What do Hillary supporters call their room mate?

Nurse.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What animals do you bring to bed?

Your calves.

Why did ISIS leader bring a car-door to the desert?

So he could roll down the window when it gets too hot. How we joke in Kurdistan

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

Why did the dog run into the corner every time the door bell rang?

because he is a Boxer

Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle?

Because he doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell.