Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did the Time Traveller find when he brought a joint to Ancient Greece?

The Philosophers Stoned

What do pirates say when they find buried treasure?

Thanks for the gold!

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Where does a zookeeper hang his laundry?

On a clothes lion.

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

You only need a nail to hang a painting.

Perform Jokes More Perform Jokes

What do you call a troupe of performing Redditors?

Cirque le Jerk

How do you perform mediation?

Meditation Uuuummmmmmm........"

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

How do historians know that Joseph wasn't Jesus' dad?

Because when you're a carpenter in the desert you can't get wood.

Why couldn't Jesus waterski?

Because he never existed.

Manage Jokes More Manage Jokes

How do you manage that?

I think it was when I tried to push it through the letterbox.

What do you call the guy who manages my apartment building?

The thoooperintendent.

Mate Jokes More Mate Jokes

Which phone is most sold in Australia?

The htc M8. Oi mate

Why was the chess player pregnant?

Because they were mated.

John Jokes More John Jokes

What do you call a 1 ton toilet?

EL-ton John

Whose funeral was this photo taken at?

John, serious tone: "I dunno. Let's see who's missing" possible funniest thing john has said

Middle East Jokes More Middle East Jokes

What is a goat herder known as in the Middle East?

A Pimp

What's the most disappointing country in the Middle East?

Oman

Luke Jokes More Luke Jokes

What is the internal temperature of a Taunton?

Luke warm.

What is the inner temperature of a Tauntaun?

Luke warm.

Mark Jokes More Mark Jokes

What's black, has bite marks and isn't needed any more?

Philip Hoffman's belt.

Why do you think your report should be on the net?

Because my marks are all 'E's.

Miracle Jokes More Miracle Jokes

What do you call a black guy at college?

A miracle. Edit: I've hidden this post as I realized it was stupid and too offensive. I'm sorry, it was overly racist.

What do Jesus and a nerd have in common?

Both are long-haired, live at their parents' till their 30's, and if they'll do anything, it is considered a miracle.

Matthew Jokes More Matthew Jokes

Why are people so worried about Hurricane Matthew's wind speeds?

I thought CAT4 was capped at 16Mbps.

What does racist matthew mcconaughey say?

alt-right, alt-right, alt-right