Middle East Jokes

I originally thought that the black rock gets wet, but it was brought to my attention that the Red Sea is in the middle east, so it prob'ly starts a holy war!

What do you call innocent women and children dying in the middle east?

Freedom

Why aren't there any Walmarts in the middle east?

Because there's Targets around every corner.

Why can't there be peace in the Middle East?

It IS what it IS.

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

What do you call a witness to an event in the Middle East?

A Dubaistander. Yeah I thought of it myself.

What do you call a research facility in the middle east?

Darpa Darpa

Why won't A Flock of Seagulls perform in the Middle East?

Iran so far away

What do they call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids

What do you call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids. Yep. An original.

Why do people regard the middle east as the holy land?

Because they're constantly drilling for oil.

Why are there no Wal-Marts in the middle east?

A: Because there are too many Targets

What's the most disappointing country in the Middle East?

Oman

What's the most dangerous bar to go to in the middle east?

The allahu ak-bar

Whats Kim Kardashian and the Middle East got in common?

Both are covered in oil, huge, and been invaded by the West.

When was pasta introduced to the Middle East?

when someone fed a genie alfredo

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

What do you call Call Of Duty in the middle east ?

Tuesday

Why is the middle east the best place to open a store at the moment?

Because business is booming.

What do they call Counter-Strike in the Middle East?

Tuesday.

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What do pirates and pimps have in common?

They both say "YO HO!" and walk with a limp!

What do Welshmen call a sheep dog in Wales?

Their Pimp

American Jokes More American Jokes

What did the American biscuit say to the British biscuit?

Girl you sure are sweet.

Which political discussions between the Russians and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens?

The SALT talks!

Bug Jokes More Bug Jokes

Why do you never see any bugs in a church?

Because they are in sects.

Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame?

Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared.

Peace Jokes More Peace Jokes

Why is Islam called the religion of peace?

After you leave the religion, you rest in peace.

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

Pea Jokes More Pea Jokes

What did the pea say to the peanut?

At least you got one nut, I don't see what you're crying about.

How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea?

A: Inflate it.

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

What does it sound like when a pterodactyl uses the bathroom?

Nothing, the pee is silent

What airline allows you to pee in cruise?

Wizz Air

Argument Jokes More Argument Jokes

What is a bigot?

A bigot is anyone winning an argument with a liberal.

What do you call it when two high people get in an argument?

A pot roast.

War Jokes More War Jokes

Why can't Canada win wars?

Because they'll blow you up and then apologize.

How do zombies communicate in times of war?

Cryptic code.