Middle East Jokes

I originally thought that the black rock gets wet, but it was brought to my attention that the Red Sea is in the middle east, so it prob'ly starts a holy war!

What do you call innocent women and children dying in the middle east?

Freedom

Why aren't there any Walmarts in the middle east?

Because there's Targets around every corner.

Why can't there be peace in the Middle East?

It IS what it IS.

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

What do you call a witness to an event in the Middle East?

A Dubaistander. Yeah I thought of it myself.

What do you call a research facility in the middle east?

Darpa Darpa

Why won't A Flock of Seagulls perform in the Middle East?

Iran so far away

What do they call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids

What do you call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids. Yep. An original.

Why do people regard the middle east as the holy land?

Because they're constantly drilling for oil.

Why are there no Wal-Marts in the middle east?

A: Because there are too many Targets

What's the most disappointing country in the Middle East?

Oman

What's the most dangerous bar to go to in the middle east?

The allahu ak-bar

Whats Kim Kardashian and the Middle East got in common?

Both are covered in oil, huge, and been invaded by the West.

When was pasta introduced to the Middle East?

when someone fed a genie alfredo

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

What do you call Call Of Duty in the middle east ?

Tuesday

Why is the middle east the best place to open a store at the moment?

Because business is booming.

What do they call Counter-Strike in the Middle East?

Tuesday.

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Stone Jokes More Stone Jokes

Why were all Roman buildings made of stone?

They crucified the carpenter.

What would the punishment be for smoking a joint in the times of Jesus Christ?

You would get stoned. And then get rocks thrown at you.

Target Jokes More Target Jokes

Why are there no Walmarts in Syria?

Because there is a target on every corner. Guys, this syriaous.

Why couldn't the BMW fit into a narrow parking stall at Target?

because it was being driven by a woman

Myth Jokes More Myth Jokes

What do you call a myth from the middle east?

A turban legend

What do the wage gap and the story of Hercules have in common?

They're both myths.

Dora Jokes More Dora Jokes

What would an anime spinoff of Dora the Explorer be called?

Swiper no Swiping

What's the first place Dora explored?

The mexican border.

College Jokes More College Jokes

What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college?

BYE-SON!

What do you want to be when you leave college?

Student: "Alive".

Allahu Ak Bar Jokes More Allahu Ak Bar Jokes

Where do terrorists go for a drink?

The Allahu Ak-Bar.

What's the most popular pub in the Middle East?

The Allahu ak-Bar

Wal Marts Jokes More Wal Marts Jokes

Why are there no Wal Marts in Iraq, Iran, or Afghanistan?

Because there are already too many targets. (credit: some old veteran bum looking guy sleeping on a bench at the police station I went to today.)

Why aren't there any Wal-Marts in the middle east?

Because there's a Target on every corner

Republican Jokes More Republican Jokes

What's a Republican's favorite number?

NEIN!"

How are the homeless like votes?

Republicans have them thrown out.