Middle East Jokes

I originally thought that the black rock gets wet, but it was brought to my attention that the Red Sea is in the middle east, so it prob'ly starts a holy war!

What do you call innocent women and children dying in the middle east?

Freedom

Why aren't there any Walmarts in the middle east?

Because there's Targets around every corner.

Why can't there be peace in the Middle East?

It IS what it IS.

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

What do you call a witness to an event in the Middle East?

A Dubaistander. Yeah I thought of it myself.

What do you call a research facility in the middle east?

Darpa Darpa

Why won't A Flock of Seagulls perform in the Middle East?

Iran so far away

What do they call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids

What do you call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids. Yep. An original.

Why do people regard the middle east as the holy land?

Because they're constantly drilling for oil.

Why are there no Wal-Marts in the middle east?

A: Because there are too many Targets

What's the most disappointing country in the Middle East?

Oman

What's the most dangerous bar to go to in the middle east?

The allahu ak-bar

Whats Kim Kardashian and the Middle East got in common?

Both are covered in oil, huge, and been invaded by the West.

When was pasta introduced to the Middle East?

when someone fed a genie alfredo

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

What do you call Call Of Duty in the middle east ?

Tuesday

Why is the middle east the best place to open a store at the moment?

Because business is booming.

What do they call Counter-Strike in the Middle East?

Tuesday.

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Argument Jokes More Argument Jokes

Why should you never get into an argument with a dictionary?

Because they'll always have the last word.

Why do vampires hate arguments?

Because they make themselves cross.

War Jokes More War Jokes

What do you call it when you play tug-of-war with a pig?

Pulled pork.

How'd you die?

I got shot trying to save my fellow soldiers lives in war. You " "I got trampled trying to save on a flat screen" "Oh.."

Corner Jokes More Corner Jokes

What should you do if you're cold?

Stand in the corner, because it's 90 degrees.

Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners of the monastery?

Because they have no attachments.

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas ?

A merry Christmas to ewe

Why do New Zealand farmers now wear kilts?

Because the sheep have gotten used to the sound of zippers

Dora Jokes More Dora Jokes

What's the first place Dora explored?

The mexican border.

What did Dora say when Swiper got ahold of her tinder?

Swiper no swiping!!

Peace Jokes More Peace Jokes

What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road?

Rust-in-peace.

What did GB say to EU?

Peace out, EUROn EUROwn!

Millennial Jokes More Millennial Jokes

Why are millennials so odd?

Because they just can't even

How many millennials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, it's already lit fam.

Wal Marts Jokes More Wal Marts Jokes

Why are there no Wal Marts in Iraq, Iran, or Afghanistan?

Because there are already too many targets. (credit: some old veteran bum looking guy sleeping on a bench at the police station I went to today.)

Why are there no Wal-Marts in the middle east?

A: Because there are too many Targets