What did the pea say to the peanut?

At least you got one nut, I don't see what you're crying about.

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What am I gonna do with a river?

Could you cry me a beer

How do you tell if your Billy Idol fan girlfriend has a Three Stooges fetish?

In the midnight hour she cried "Moe! Moe! Moe!"

Pea Jokes More Pea Jokes

How do you drown a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice. Put a line of peas around the hole. When the polar bear takes a pea, kick him in the ice hole.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What do you call a nut on a wall?

A walnut! What do you call a nut at the beach A beech nut! What do you call a nut in the toilet A peanut!!

What did the man say after he forgot to pull out?

I regret nutting!!!

Peanut Jokes More Peanut Jokes

Why do elephants prefer peanuts to caviar?

Because they're easier to get at the ballpark.

What kind of peanuts get warts?

Planters.