Pea Jokes

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What are peas attracted to?

Chickpeas

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

How do you drown a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice. Put a line of peas around the hole. When the polar bear takes a pea, kick him in the ice hole.

What's the most polite meal?

Peas and franks.

How do you trap an elephant?

You first dig a hole, second, you fill the hole with ashes, also throw some peas in there. When the elephant stops to take a pea, you kick it in the ash hole.

What did the pea say to the peanut?

At least you got one nut, I don't see what you're crying about.

Why did the lettuce get arrested?

for disturbing the peas!

Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?

A: It swells at night.

Why did the green bean go to jail?

He was disturbing the peas.

What's a hippies favourite food?

Peas, man.

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Why did the orange move to veggieland?

So he could live in peas and hominy.

How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea?

A: Inflate it.

What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup?

Everybody can chop pork but nobody can pea soup.

What's an idealist vegetarian's favorite meal?

Peas and hominy

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What's Rihanna's favorite love song?

I can't feel my face when i'm with you"

What's the difference between sandpaper and a baby?

The sandpaper doesn't scream when I rub it's face on wood.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

Why is your brother always flying off the handle ?

Second Boy: Because he's got a screw loose !

What is the difference between me and being artistic?

The second letter.

British Jokes More British Jokes

What do the British say when they're flirting?

U wan'a m8?

How British is Adele ?

She would call you at least 1000 times to tell how sorry she is .

Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

What do you call a horse that has been kicked out of his house?

Unstable

What do you do when your car is making a really annoying noise?

Open the door and kick her out.

Pea Soup Jokes More Pea Soup Jokes

Whats the difference between Mashed Potatoes and Pea Soup?

Anyone can mash potatoes!

What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?

I can roast chicken but I can't pea soup

Polar Bear Jokes More Polar Bear Jokes

Which one dissolves?

The polar bear, because he's polar!

What is the difference between a polar bear and the World Series?

One has cubs

Line Jokes More Line Jokes

Why was the algebra teacher arrested on drug charges?

He was caught doing lines of math!

What was the last line in Anne Frank's diary?

Just a moment, someone's knocking on the door..

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

When your mom is mad at you and finds anything to throw at you https://www.youtube.com/watch?

v=75cA3xmssM

Why did the artist throw his eraser away?

Because it wasn't