What's the difference between sandpaper and a baby?

The sandpaper doesn't scream when I rub it's face on wood.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a woman and a PC from 1995?

A woman doesn't accept 3 1/2 inch floppies.

Whats the difference between an anthropologist and a sociologist?

Anthropologists hate Western Civilization. Sociologists only hate America.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

What do you call a sacred, flammable piece of wood?

A match made in Heaven.

What kind of wood doesn't float?

Natalie Wood.

Rub Jokes More Rub Jokes

What does a frog say when it washes car windows?

Rub it rub it rub it.

What's the difference between sandpaper and a baby?

The sandpaper doesn't scream when I rub it's face on wood.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

How do you tell Michael Jackson's age?

You put a color scale next to his face.

How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby?

A pizza doesn't scream when you break it in 8.

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What do you call a cow that just had a baby?

Decalfinated

What would Arnold Schwarzenegger say if you asked him his favorite holiday?

You have to love easter, baby." (OC)

Sandpaper Jokes More Sandpaper Jokes

What did the puppy say when it sat on sandpaper?

Ruff

What did the dog say when he bit the sandpaper?

Nothing. He just grit his teeth.