What's the difference between sandpaper and a baby?

The sandpaper doesn't scream when I rub it's face on wood.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a chickpea and lintel?

I've never had a lintel on my chest.

What's the difference between negligence and falling off of the empire state building?

Nothing if you're a gorilla.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

What did the necrophiliac get after his wife died?

Mourning wood.

What's a foot long, is as hard as wood, and is slippery?

A wooden slipper

Rub Jokes More Rub Jokes

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

Why was the whiteboard angry with the Eraser?

The Eraser had rubbed the Whiteboard the wrong way.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What do you call a woman with egg and sausage on here face?

Cafe

What's the difference... between a gazpacho bean and a chickpea?

I've never had a gazpacho bean on my face.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

Why did the sand scream?

Because the sea weed. ha.

What's white and red, 3 inches long, and makes dudes scream and run away when you show it to them?

A positive pregnancy test.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why can't a Stormtrooper have a baby?

Because they always miss.

How are new marriages just like LOST?

The Significant Others just want babies.

Sandpaper Jokes More Sandpaper Jokes

What do you call a piece of sandpaper in Syria?

A map.

What did the puppy say when it sat on sandpaper?

Ruff