What did the necrophiliac get after his wife died?

Mourning wood.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Who plays those kind of jokes anymore?

You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez.

What's the Difference between a Wife and an Attic Door?

An attic door can shut up. im going to hell

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

What do you call the only wood that doesn't float?

Natalie.

Why do bears poop in the woods?

So nobody will see their bare (bear) bottom!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why do they have fences around cemetaries?

Because people are dying to get in.

What happened to the man who died from drinking Shellac?

He had a *lovely finish*.

Mourn Jokes More Mourn Jokes

What does a widow say when she wakes up?

Mourning

What time of day is the saddest?

The mourning

Necrophiliac Jokes More Necrophiliac Jokes

What is the philosophy of a necrophiliac?

Sit back, relax and crack open a cold one

What do Elsa and a necrophiliac have in common?

The cold never bothered them anyway......