What did the necrophiliac get after his wife died?

Mourning wood.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What is the difference between a wife and a mistress?

About 20kg.

What's worse than finding out that your wife has cancer?

Finding out it's curable.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

What did Tom hanks do in the woods?

He took a forrest dump.

How long have you been chopping wood for?

I'm not sure, I'll check the logs"

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did the computer scientist die in the shower?

The shampoo bottle put him in an infinite loop.

What is it called when an unborn baby dies in a horse-drawn sleigh?

A mis-carriage

Mourn Jokes More Mourn Jokes

What's worse than morning wood?

Mourning wood

What time of day is the saddest?

The mourning

Necrophiliac Jokes More Necrophiliac Jokes

What does a necrophiliac say to confess his love for someone?

You're dead to me"

What's the difference between a pirate and a necrophiliac?

I'm not sure, but they both go out with shovels to find the booty.