What are the two things someone with a face tattoo never hears?

You're hired" "Not guilty"

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why do they call me an oven?

Because when I get turned on things get really hot

Why do beaches not get sarcasm?

Because they always take things littorally

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I wouldn't pay 50 to have a lentil on my face...

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did Michael Jackson go to Macy's?

He heard boys' pants were half off.

What do you call a dog that can't hear?

Doesn't matter much, does it

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why couldn't the giraffe get a job at the bank?

They weren't hiring.

How do you hire a teddy bear?

Put him on stilts !