Rub Jokes

What's the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

One goes "ribbit ribbit", the other goes "rub it rub it".

This joke may have profanity.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Coffee Mug

Why was there never an Aladdin 4?

Because he kept on rubbing the wrong lamp.

What is the difference between a toad and a horny toad?

A toad says rib-it, rib-it. A horny toad says rub-it, rub-it.

This joke may have profanity.

Why are stick people extinct?

Because you can't rub two sticks together you get fire.

What happens when you pet a cat in the opposite direction?

You rub them the wrong way

Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker?

He wrote "1 + 0 = 0" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out...

Why did the genie turn the man into a toad?

He rubbed him the wrong way.

What sound does a horny toad make?

rub it rub it.

This joke may have profanity.

What did the horny frog say?

Rub-it

This joke may have profanity.

What is a guy who rubs bear toes called?

Rob...wait for it... erto! Rubeartoe!

What grows when you squeeze it, explodes if you rub it too hard, and children love it?

A balloon animal!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why do Women rub their eyes when they wake up?

NSFW) A: They don't have balls to scratch!!

This joke may have profanity.

What's the thing that is about 5-6 inches long, it goes into mouth and when you rub it back and forth it produces a white liquid?

A toothbrush.

Why was the whiteboard angry with the Eraser?

The Eraser had rubbed the Whiteboard the wrong way.

What is green sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together ?

Chimney Cricket !

What do you do for a pig with sore muscles?

Rub him with oinkment.

What do you get when you rub two orange juice boxes together?

Pulp friction.

What's the difference between sandpaper and a baby?

The sandpaper doesn't scream when I rub it's face on wood.

What did the perverted frog say?

Rub-it!

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What did the rich bearded slave owner say when he was stranded in the desert and saw a mirage of an Arabian lamp and rubbed it?

here in my mirage got this brand new labor genie here

Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A: They don't have balls to scratch.

What does a horny toad say?

Rub it

This joke may have profanity.

Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up?

Cause they don't have balls to scratch

What does a frog say when it washes car windows?

Rub it rub it rub it.

Why does a girls rub her eyes in the morning?

A. Because they don't have balls to itch.

What do you get if you rub an eggplant?

A little aubergenie

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Lesson Jokes More Lesson Jokes

Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker?

He wrote "1 + 0 = 0" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out...

What is science?

Student: Me Ma'am! Me! Teacher: Ok Pedro! What is science Student: science is our Lesson for today.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

Why do adults like Legos so much, when they grow old?

They can't lego of their childhood. Tell some more Lego puns, here!

How are babies different from feminists ?

Babies grow up and stop crying

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why are burglars such good tennis players ?

Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts !

How do you make a small fortune in the movie industry?

You spend a large fortune

Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

How many MRAs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just blame feminism for the darkness.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do people love working at yogurt factories?

Because of the culture!

Why does all of Jared Fogle's music sound the same?

Because he loves to abuse A Minor.

Aladdin Jokes More Aladdin Jokes

How did Aladdin die?

Carpet bombing.

Why was there never an Aladdin 4?

Because he kept on rubbing the wrong lamp.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What's the difference between refrigerator and a child?

Refrigerator doesn't have a 'd' in it.

How many children does Jamal have?

show your work.

Balloon Animal Jokes More Balloon Animal Jokes

Why couldn't the birthday clown make balloon animals for the children?

With the rising cost of inflation he couldn't afford it anymore.

Why couldn't the clown make balloon animals for the children?

With inflation raising the cost he couldn't afford it.