What happens when you pet a cat in the opposite direction?

You rub them the wrong way

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

Which global disasters happen when you drop a roast turkey?

The downfall of Turkey, the break-up of China, and the overthrow of Greece.

What happens to criminal photons?

They get put in prism!

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Where should you take your cat, if it somehow loses its tail?

Walmart, they're the world's biggest retailer. Thank you. I'll be here all week.

Why did the chicken give the cat his mashed potatoes?

To get to the other side.

Rub Jokes More Rub Jokes

What grows when you squeeze it, explodes if you rub it too hard, and children love it?

A balloon animal!

What do you get if you rub an eggplant?

A little aubergenie

Opposite Direction Jokes More Opposite Direction Jokes

What did you just do?

CAT: *bolts for no apparent reason* ME: *bolts in the opposite direction in case she's after both of us*

What happens when you pet a cat in the opposite direction?

You rub them the wrong way

Pet Jokes More Pet Jokes

What do you call a TV reality show where a 50 year old white man is trying to get laid?

To catch a predator. Why do white girls walk around in groups of 3 and 5? Because they can't even! Why do white people have so many pets? Because owning people is not legal anymore Would love to hear more white people-specific jokes :) They seem to be really rare.

What happens when you pet a cat in the opposite direction?

You rub them the wrong way